


Don't Hate The Piano Man

by lawgrain



Series: D.H. The Piano Man [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Pianist Dan Howell, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends, no one hurt so no worries, should be angst but somehow isn't
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-04-18 05:34:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 33,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14206182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawgrain/pseuds/lawgrain
Summary: Phil never responded to Dan's messaging and they never met. Instead of pursuing a vlogging channel, Dan came to hate vlogging and eventually made an anonymous piano channel. When playing at a VidCon Dan finds something interesting: Phil's Lion. Now they are thrown together because of a stuffed animal... yay





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning this is unedited and probably rough. I am open to suggestion/corrections. I have a lot more planned for this and I know it seems short but I'm working on it.

**Dan’s POV**

"Oh my god I haven't seen you in forever!"

_Oh my god can you not..._

"We have to do another video sometime."

Dan continued to ignore the vlogger playing an obscure mashup on the piano. He liked to try playing modern music as classically as possible at public venues. He couldn't help but think that even if someone noticed his taste in music, the amplified classical tone wouldn't lead them to realize it was the same as D.H. The Piano Man. Ever since he started his anonymous channel he'd been terrified that someone would recognize him despite him being careful never to show his face. Till then he would just have to live with the risk when playing venues. 

"Ah! AmazingPhil come be in my vlog"

"Hey Louise, and hey guys!"

He hated this venue. VidCon was always full of people putting on a show for more viewers and yet every year Dan still showed up. Originally, he was asked to reveal his identity but readily declined. He still doesn't understand why they think he'd be associated with vloggers. His channel was solely for his music and just because he has a large following doesn't mean he has any desire to show his face. He wanted to be liked for his music and not his face. Plus, his overwhelming anxiety and awkwardness also provide some motivation to stay hidden. 

Eventually, they gave up on an identity reveal and offered for him to just show up as a regular piano player for background entertainment. That was far more in Dan's element. So, since they had asked, Dan showed up and played well-disguised Fallout Boy and Muse songs amongst other things. No one particularly listened but at least he got paid. 

Song after song played on and really once you block out the people's chattering it wasn't too bad. The night went on like this till it finally came to an end as people filtered out. 

"Thanks for playing again, mate."

Dan turned to one of the staff members and gave a tired smile. 

"No problem. I'll see you again next year,"

He waved the man goodbye before heading out but not before noticing something in one of the potted plants that the organizers thought would "enhance the decoration experience." He picked up the object. 

_Huh, that's a bit odd._

"Hey Rick, do you know what this is doing here?" Dan said turning back to the staff member. 

"No clue but I guess it's yours now."

"That it is... well you have a good one."

Dan looked back down at the object. Somehow the little stuffed lion seemed oddly familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good? Bad? Wish I was a better writer? Me too... Again I've got a lot more planned and am a first time writer so please be gentle. Next I'm going into Phil's POV and eventually will add angst but for now I just have this short snippet. If this gets some people interested I will try and update faster, otherwise I'm just posting for me. Leave a comment or a kudos and will appreciate your existence!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope that the video part makes sense. Also if it seems short, it was originally written with the next chapter but I decided to split them up and post two chapters.

**Phil’s Video**

“Hey guys! So as some of you may know I went to VidCon last week.” Cut scene to a clip at VidCon.

“So that was exciting. I met loads of people and had a great time.” Cut scene.

“You’re probably wondering ‘Phil, if you had such a great time what’s your video about.’ Well do you notice something missing?” The screen pans around the room.

“Well if you haven’t guessed it”

The camera zooms in as Phil mutters, “And the title didn’t give it away” Cut scene.

“Lion is gone” Cut scene.

“Yeah so I was at VidCon and some other YouTubers were like ‘Phil let’s play a game.’ Essentially the game was hide and seek with Lion. The goal was that they’d hide Lion and then I would find him.” Cut scene.

“Except I didn’t find him. The game was a stupid idea, I know, and apparently VidCon starts a sort of clean up session towards the end of the event. So while I was still seeking in the little hide and seek game I assume Lion was carried off in some plant or object or tray or something…. Yeah” Cut scene.

“Either way I still hadn’t quite given up on finding the little guy and went to ask the event people later. They hadn’t found him but there was other various missing items...” Cut scene.

“So if you’re a YouTuber who lost something at VidCon, other than a lion, you might have a chance. I’m not gonna lie though, I’m really upset that I lost Lion. Like he’s been here since the beginning.” Cut scene.

“So if you were at VidCon or somehow found Lion I’d really appreciate if he somehow finds his way back to me. I feel like someone probably has him and he’s like a hostage saying ‘Save me Phil! Save meeeee…'” Cut scene.

“I hope that’s not the case… I hope he’s on like some kind of grand adventure and like having the time of his life even though I’m not there.” Cut scene.

“Anyway, if you’re out there Lion, stay safe!” Cut scene.

“That’s all from me guys. If you liked this video and want the safe return of lion make sure to give it a big thumbs up. You can check out my last video over here or click on my face to subscribe.”

**Phil’s POV**

_Sure a game_ Phil thought as he put some last edits on the video. Absolutely nothing had been pleasant about VidCon this year. Sure the general atmosphere was always something to look forward to. After all there are only a few places you can say that you make videos for the internet and not sound like a creep. Phil learned that the hard way… 

All of it went downhill the moment he ran into Charlie. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for Charlie to be hostile towards Phil, but it was an unusual occurrence for Phil to have Lion with him. It was stupid really. Some fan had requested him to bring Lion on an adventure and Phil thought it would be fun to bring it to VidCon with him and take pictures.

Evidently Charlie thought it’s be even more fun to hide the stuffed toy. The catch of the whole ordeal was that Phil never agreed to the game like it seemed in his video. _Well I didn’t technically lie in the video. Just omitted some truth_. So essentially, he spent the entire event looking for his lion instead of enjoying the event that people worked so hard to put on.

All said and done, Phil was bitter about the video. He knows the only real result of it will be a satisfied Charlie and sympathetic fans. Really he just didn’t want comments later asking about Lion and had a tiny amount of hope that maybe he’d be reunited with the creature.

_Like that’ll happen._

Phil let it go as he clicked upload. There was no going back now and who knows? Maybe he’d get lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to leave a kudos or comment any suggestions.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry if it seems short but I liked the two sections as different chapters so here we are. Let me know if anything doesn't make sense or something.

**Dan’s POV**

_Why am I so unlucky?_

He had found the video by chance and for the life of him wish that he hadn’t. Originally, Dan had just been on YouTube searching to see if anyone noticed his playing at VidCon. Generally speaking he liked to see how he played and if anyone caught on to his involvement on YouTube. Instead he found a video on one very AmazingPhil.

A video about a lion.

A missing Lion.

That he had.

Dan would have been fine with just having a random Lion that he obtained and for it to innocently hang out on his piano top. But no, it had to be _Phil’s_ lion… that was innocently hanging out on his piano top... Dan glared at the offending object.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it were a different YouTubers item but Phil was another story. He used to idolize the guy when he was younger but was brutally shot down in an email that the vlogger probably didn’t even remember responding to. Shortly after that he stopped watching vloggers altogether. So needless to say, Phil wasn’t his favorite YouTube figure.

That’s not to say he hated Phil. No in that time period, for whatever reason, Phil responded negatively to fans as a whole. Dan had heard rumors about that being due to one of his friends influence but that didn’t change the fact that Dan was too mortified to ever speak to the man.

But now he had the lion.

The _lion._

Sitting on the piano.

Now normally this wouldn’t be an issue except that morally he knew he could do something about it. The guy literally said he was sad that he lost it. Now given, that could have been for show but that didn’t change the fact that Dan had the lion. 

He knew logistically there was probably some way to send fan mail to Phil and get the lion to him. He also knew that it would most likely get lost amongst his other mail and was likely to never be seen again. Dan doubted that Phil would even know it’s his lion rather than some random one from a store.

Dan figured that he would play at another YouTube event and most likely run into Phil again. Technically he could give the lion back then but the only problem with that idea was there was no way in hell that Dan is going to approach AmazingPhil. None. But he still had to get the stuffed animal back… On the bright side he had till the next YouTube venue to worry about that.

Dan looks back towards Lion

“Looks like you’re stuck with me for now, little guy.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So upfront, updates might be a bit sporadic till summer. The reasoning is my laptop crashed and after checking out a laptop 3 times, the library makes you give it back for 5 days. Annoying but its their policy. Again please keep in mind that this is unbetaed and enjoy!

**Dan’s POV**

Dan would be lying if he said he didn’t make the most of having Lion in his possession. AmazingPhil did say that he hoped the toy had some adventures so Dan took that as a challenge. Ok well, he didn’t go over the top or anything. He just gave him a bowtie (he had to make sure the lion looked well if he were attending piano events) and made sure to take a picture of him whenever he went to any special place for a gig. Nothing too fancy… just a bit unnecessary.

_It’s not like he’ll mind… Would he mind? Was it weird? He did say ‘grand adventure’… Why did I do this again?_

Either way, Dan already started the picture thing and was actually having fun with it. He’d try to find the quirkiest place to put the Lion for each picture and every now and again have his hand in a thumbs up off to the side in the picture. He’d made usually find some tourist attraction or oddity near his gigs but never take a picture that was too revealing of his whereabouts. He couldn’t take the paranoia of someone finding out who he was. It wasn’t that he was afraid of people knowing about him; it’s that people scared him. While Dan could handle the occasional interactions with the staff at gigs or the lady at Starbucks, his social anxiety left him stuttering whenever he tried to partake in casual discussions.

That was another reason why he was wary of getting AmazingPhil his lion back. Even if it weren’t the added fact that the YouTuber was AmazingPhil, he would be terrified to approach any person. He stood by the idea that any other YouTuber would be better than Phil Lester but that didn’t change that he has been in possession of a lion for a while and needed to get it back to its rightful home. However, he had a plan. It was an overly simple plan but it was a plan.

At the next YouTube event he played at, he was going to ask a staff member to pass along the lion and just hope it didn’t get stolen. Or discarded. Or given to the wrong person. Or ignored… Maybe he should think a little more into detail about the plan.

 

**Phil’s POV**

Nope. Did not want to go to this event.

Why was it that he was expected to be at every single YouTube event that they were at? Every single time he accepted an invitation he’d find out that Charlie or some other YouTuber that likes to harass him would be there too. It wasn’t always that bad but Phil liked to avoid those situations as much as possible. In other words, no, he did not want to go. Not one bit. The last time he had attended one of these events while Charlie had been there was awful and he didn’t want a repeat. However, he had already accepted the invitation. So he got ready. He got dressed trying to look as presentable possible and called a taxi.

_Hey if it’s going to suck either way, might as well look good._

And then he arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone see Dan and Phil's new videos? Specifically the one with the yoga poses? 'Cause oh my god that was gold. And I'm super excited that Dan's piano playing was requested. I can't go see it but excited nonetheless.
> 
> I hope you guys liked the chapter and please leave a comment or kudos. 
> 
> Oh and sorry that all my chapters are short (not gonna lie they're probably all going to be that length). I'm going to get the other posted really soon, I just wanted to get this bit out before I started doubting it. The length does kind of bug me... I'm anxiety ridden so please don't hate me.
> 
> Thanks again... :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I said I was going to post another chapter soon I meant really soon. As in now soon. I'm actually super excited about this one, so as you were I suppose.

**Dan’s POV**

_Oh god, oh god, oh god. He’s here._

Dan was already nervous just for the fact that he typically hated any event with primarily YouTubers but this was worse. Secretly, he had been hoping that AmazingPhil would just not show. He knew that was stupid, of course, because the man had literally posted that he’d be here a couple of weeks ago and that’s exactly why he knew to bring Lion. 

Still, he wished that he didn’t have to deal with the entire ordeal but knew he’d have to once he _saw AmazingPhil_. That’s right. There was no denying the fact that he could get the lion to its owner when he had walked right past him on the way back from a short piano break. 

Right past him. 

_Phil_ walked right past _him._

Phil as in a human being. A human being that owns the item he’s brought to gigs for around the last 6 months. A human being that he has to get said item back to.

He’s scared.

Well ok, maybe scared isn’t the right word. The pounding in his chest says otherwise though.

_It’s alright. Calm down. All I have to do is follow the plan and it’ll all be okay._

Admittedly the plan hadn’t changed much since when he first thought of it. He just thought of a few more details to help make sure no one would want to steal it. Yet when he looked at the plain black box, the task seemed ominous.

He knew what to do though. When things started winding down, he’d ask a staff member to deliver the box to Phil Lester but, to make sure they didn’t go running off with the box, he’d say he’d pay them after. It wouldn’t be difficult to see if AmazingPhil got the box when there were fewer people and the staff members would probably be quick about it when they had to start to clean up soon. Now he just had to wait.

And wait.

And wait.

He played song after song in the little set up they had for him till finally, it seemed like time.

“Uh hi, excuse me?” The staff member looked at Dan expectantly. Dan gave the box one more look, “Yeah um, can you do me a favor?”

**Phil’s POV**

Ok, so the event wasn’t going that bad. He still didn’t want to be there though. While all of his tormentors seemed paired off and busy, so were his friends. He was the definition of alone and he hated it.

He’s not quite sure why he is surprised. All these events were a whirlwind of sudden social bursts for different vlogs and then they’d disappear once they’d use you.

_You’re starting to get cynical again Philly. Better stop._ Phil chastised himself.

Ultimately, Phil decided to hang around a food table and vaguely mingle with whoever came around. Louise stopped by and seemed to genuinely care about what Phil was up to but even she was whisked away by some other YouTuber. All Phil could do was wait for the event to end. So he waits…

God, he didn’t want to wait. Why couldn’t he just up and leave again? Sure it’d be rude, but at least he could watch Netflix at home. Still, he felt like he couldn’t make himself do it. He’d feel too guilty leaving so early. 

Instead, Phil found a place to chill out till it came closer to the end. Passing a few strangers, he found a seat just outside a small room and picked away at snacks. Apparently, he chose a good spot because shortly after a piano started playing. He didn’t realize they had piano players at these events but looking back he does remember that they’d have some random piano player set off to the side somewhere. Really whenever they were there it seemed to be just for an allusion of classiness amongst YouTubers. 

He sat just outside the room and listened to the piano player.

_Wait. Is that the song from Final Fantasy VII? Oh my god, it is!_

It was disguised well, but listening closely he could hear that the song was in fact from Final Fantasy VII mashed up with some classical piece he couldn’t name.

_That’s kind of amazing…_

Phil stayed there the rest of the night till the piano player eventually stopped and he realized he could leave.

Just as he was getting up to do just that he heard a man speak.

“Excuse me, sir? Are you Phil Lester?”

“Yes, who is asking?”

“I was told to give you this,” the man shoved a box in his hands before walking away.

Phil stood there dumbfounded. 

_Maybe it was from a fan or something?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way I promise they do meet soon. I feel like it seems a bit prolonged. Either way, I loved seeing the comments on the last chapter and appreciate them. I hoped this chapter met expectations and if it did I'd love to hear some comments. Or read I suppose. Not the point.


	6. Chapter 6

**Phil’s POV**

It was not a fan! 

Alright, maybe it was. Phil wasn’t sure but the box did not give off fan vibes. He didn’t care though because he was so excited. Once he had gotten back to his flat, he had opened the box and discovered Lion in a bowtie of all things. Not only that, but also a note and some pictures of different places Lion had been.

Quite honestly it was one of the sweetest things he’d seen. Before looking too much into the pictures he had to read the note.

_Dear Phil,_  
_So I was at a VidCon a while ago and found your stuffed animal in a potted plant. I was quite confused until I saw your video later (not the best idea for a game, mate). Sorry it took me so long to get it back to you, I just wanted to make sure it got back to you and not lost in the mail or stolen or… something._  
_Anyway, before I die of what a cringe attack this letter is, here’s your lion back. I hope you don’t mind but I gave him a new aesthetic and included some pictures of where he’s been. Sorry if that seems a bit silly but you said ‘grand adventure’ so yeah._  
_I’m just going to stop here._

__

__

_Sincerely,  
D.H._

Phil smiled at the words. It definitely didn’t give off fan vibes. It did, on the other hand, give off ‘socially awkward but I tried’ vibes. Phil could relate to that. 

Only then did Phil start looking through the photos.

_Oh my god. I have to do a video._

Whoever had his lion had to be the literal cutest person in the world he decided. The mystery person had taken some gimmicky pictures at tourist spots, sure, but he had also changed some into memes before taking the liberty to print them out for Phil. It was hilarious and Phil absolutely needed to do a video on it.

With that decided, Phil started to make a script.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm either posting the next chapter of Phil's video today or tomorrow. It was originally part of this chapter so that why it's extra short. That is also why I refuse to wait to long to post it. As always please leave a comment or kudos to let me know you like it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm not patient so here's the next chapter. I hope the video stuff makes sense.

**Phil’s Video**

“Hey guys! So I’m not going to lie, I am super excited about this video. I’ll show you why later, but first I’m going to tell you all about that YouTube event I went to the other day.” Cut scene.

“First off, it was super fun. The organizers did an amazing job as always and I got to see a lot of my other YouTube friends.” Cut scene.

“One other fun thing about it was the piano player they had. Yeah, I kind of forget they have those kind of things there but then the worlds like ‘Hey Phil, why don't you pay more attention?’” Cut scene.

“And basically I heard a pianist playing music from video games and some other bands I like which was really cool. So apparently that's what it takes for the world to get my attention.” Cut scene.

“Honestly, I was really caught off guard because they did something to make it sound like classical music and then my mind was absolutely blown when I realized it wasn’t.” Cut scene.

“So if you’re out there piano player, you get two thumbs up from me.” Cut scene.

“Anyway, onto what I’m super excited about.” Cut scene.

“Tada!” Phil held up Lion and the camera zooms in on it. “I got Lion back guys!” Cut scene.

“It was completely bizarre too. Some staff member came up to me with a plain black box and disappeared the moment he gave it to me. I felt like I was in some sort of spy movie and that when I opened the box it would have some sort of mission in it. That would have been cool...” The camera zooms in on Phil’s face. Cut scene.

“But I liked what happened much better, because when I got back to my flat and opened the box, Lion was there!” Cut scene.

“I was so surprised because not only had I lost Lion ages ago, but also it came in such a depressing box. Here’s the box by the way.” Phil holds up the black box for the camera. Cut scene.

“The person also included pictures of different places Lion had been and gave him a cute little bowtie.” Phil holds up Lion to show the bowtie. Cut scene.

“It was really sweet. He also left a note apologizing that it took so long to get back to me. So whoever D.H. is, I’ll have you know it was well worth the wait.” Cut scene.

“By the way though, I do think its a man. His face wasn’t in any pictures but the hands were in a few and based on his letter there are some distinct masculinity vibes…” A pause before cut scene.

“For those who doubt the awesomeness of this mystery man, here are a few of my favorite pictures he sent.” Pictures appeared on the screen. 

The first one showed a more gimmicky picture of Lion in some sunglasses at a store. 

The second was Lion at a zoo in front of the lion exhibit. Somehow the stuffed creature looked disturbed about the existence of real lions. Phil didn’t know it was possible for the stuffed animal to look disturbed. 

The last picture was of Lion on top of a suitcase with a caption saying ‘when you have no friends and make a strangers stuffed animal guard your things…’

Cut scene back to Phil.

“Those are just a few of them. But seriously guys, I think I'm in love. He literally made Lion memes and printed them out. The mystery man sent loads more and I can say that it seems like Lion has had way more adventures than me since I last saw him.” Cut scene.

“That’s all I’ve got for today! Again another huge thank you to whoever D.H. is. If you want more content like this, make sure to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. And if you have any fun stories about finding lost things, make sure to comment below. Bye!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life. Ok so that's a bit dramatic but still please do leave comments and kudos.


	8. Chapter 8

**Dan’s POV**

“One other fun thing about it was the piano player they had.”

_Wait what?!_

“...they were playing music from video games and some other bands I like.”

_No no no! Don’t mention that Phil, what if my fans find out it’s me?_

Dan continued watching AmazingPhil’s video till the end. He was mortified. He had expected a video about the return of Lion because what vlogger would miss the opportunity to bring that up? What Dan was more surprised about was the references to his playing. That was not part of the plan. Far from the plan actually.

_What if they make the connection to my channel? A piano player at a YouTube event playing the same kind of music as a famous piano YouTuber? Yeah, that won’t be suspicious at all._

Dan also thought of how AmazingPhil mentioned his initials on the letter and the new element of panic with that. Though his subscribers had taken to calling him Don’t Hate The Piano Man, his channel was still called D.H.—or _Daniel Howell_ — The Piano Man. He didn’t know if this event had listed him as a performer like some others do but if they did it wouldn’t take a Sherlock Holmes to figure it out. 

_Why had I been so stupid?_

Dan decided to do the only logical move and check the event website for his name.

“Crisis averted! Oh thank god!” Dan yelled aloud in his flat.

So what if the neighbors thought he was crazy. At least there was no way for anyone to connect his name to his channel.

Finally, Dan relaxed and thought about the rest of the video. Had Phil actually called him ‘sweet’? Or well at least his return of Lion ‘sweet’? Because if he recalled correctly he included a photo meme of Lion on top of a pile of stuffed animals at a store with the caption ‘survival of the fittest.’ That wasn’t ‘sweet.’ Dan wasn’t sweet. Was he?

Okay, so maybe he did go a little over the top with the return of Lion. It started out more simple but somehow he started finding the pictures kind of funny and went overboard. At least AmazingPhil didn’t say he was creepy or something. It could have been worse.

And then Dan decided to look at the comments.

_*Sigh*_

“How even—you know what? I don’t even care.” Dan huffed, realizing the real effect he had on the internet.

Somehow, despite not even having a face to AmazingPhil fans, they decided to ship the two.

_“Omg that’s so cute. I bet Phil wants to meet him. Get it boy!”_  
_“Awe, I think Phils in love with mystery man”_  
_“‘Masculinity vibes’ eh phil?”_  
_“Someone’s got a knight in shining armor”_  
_“Wow, he’s got a better love life than me and he’s never even met the dude…”_  
_“I can ship it. Phil and Mystery Man? Should it be Phan or Mil for the ship? lol”_

They even created a ship name. A ship name where they don’t even know the other half of the name. Luckily it seemed that ‘Phan’ was more popular than ‘Mil’ because what kind of a name is ‘Mil’? 

_Not really what’s important here Dan._

The important thing was that no one focused on AmazingPhil’s comment about his piano playing. All in all, the ‘Phan comments’ didn’t really affect Dan. No one knew who he was and, considering he’d never meet AmazingPhil, he assumed it’d all die off after a while. The only person it really affected was Phil actually.

_Sorry Phil._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to HunterPeverell for helping me edit! It helped me out a lot. Oh and if you liked this chapter please leave a kudos or comment and I'll probably reply ^_^


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to HunterPeverell for helping me edit and generally being awesome!

**Phil’s POV**

Phil wishes he could be more surprised. He’s not. He knew his fan base was extremely invested in his love life especially after finding out that he was gay. Even so, this time it seemed a little desperate even to him. What did they expect? Him to identify the Mystery Man from his hands or something? And yes, Phil had taken to thinking ‘Mystery Man’ as the guy’s name. The fandom had gotten to him he supposed.

_Or is it now Phandom?_

On the bright side, at least they didn't have a face to go with the name. That way the guy wasn't forcibly thrown into the limelight by him. 

Mystery Man actually did a good job at being a mystery. Not only had he avoided personally meeting Phil but he had also not given a name or any indication of who he was or where he frequents. All of the photos seemed to be from different places and none of them had a face in them. Even the box was all black and impersonal. The note only showed that he goes to YouTube events and may be a bit awkward. That wasn't the most to go on—a lot of people were like that. The only real thing he learned about Mystery Man himself was… that he likes memes.

Phil didn't understand why he was even so hung up about the stranger. 

_Maybe because this is the first time in a while that someone's done something genuinely nice for you and expected nothing in return._

Sadly Phil recognized this as the truth. The man went to a lot of trouble to do something nice and didn't even give Phil a face to thank. Phil almost wished he could figure out who the Mystery Man was and probably for the first time he didn't hate the ship that his fans made. And at least they didn't pick the name Mil. 

_Why do I have to give up so easily anyway? It's not like I know completely nothing._

Come to think of it, he did have the man’s initials and he did know he attends YouTube events. With that in mind Phil searched “D.H. YouTuber” on the computer. 

_Yes!_

**Dan’s POV**

_Shit!_

This was not supposed to happen. 

_What the actual fuck Phil._

Dan’s day was going great at first. He had started recording for a new cover and for once he wasn't over analyzing each note. Then his phone went off. And by went off he meant literally fell off the table because it vibrated so much. 

That's never a good sign. 

Naturally Dan went to check his phone only to find out that AmazingPhil tweeted about him on Twitter. 

Great. 

The tweet simply read “I searched the initials D.H. Anyone think D.H. The Piano Man is my Mystery Man???”

_No Phil I'm not! Well, I am, but you were not supposed to look into it!_

Not for the first time, Dan was incredibly happy that he decided to remain anonymous on YouTube. He couldn't handle this shitstorm when people didn't know who he was. 

Looking at others comments did little to calm him. Actually it did quite the opposite. Most were freaking out that Phil was trying to find out who Mystery Man was. Dan's audience immediately recognized the irony as technically they still don’t know who Mystery Man is. Everyone was asking to know who he was. And a lot had made the connection to the piano player mention in his video to his tweet. 

Dan didn't like this at all. In fact, he was freaking out. 

_Check your breathing. You’ve done this before._

Dan tried to calm himself down. He tried pacing his breath and focusing on something else—anything else.

_I can do it. I can do it I can do it._

His heart started racing faster. Dan couldn’t understand. He was doing what he was supposed to to calm down.

_Why isn’t this working? I know how to calm down, I can do this!_

He couldn’t do this.

He couldn’t do this. His heart felt like it was on fire, he couldn’t focus and the world would _not_ stay still.

He just couldn’t.

The only thing Dan could think he could do was call his mom. She immediately picked up. 

_“Bear, honey, how are you doing?”_ Concern laced her voice. Dan did not usually call in the middle of the day. 

“M-m-mom. I d-don't know what to do. Everyone's on there talking about me. I didn't even do anything, I swear, but it won't stop.”

He'd never had this much attention on himself before. Or, at least not on his identity. He kind of wanted to cry. That was until he realized tears were already running down his cheeks.

_“Hey hey, it's alright. Everything is going to be fine. Will you tell me what happened from the beginning?”_

“I just—he had. He had left his stuffed animal at some event thing? I just wanted to do something nice and, and this happened. I was just trying to do something nice.”

_“I know you were, Dan. You didn't do anything wrong. Now let's start again. You said stuffed animal. Did you mean the one you found at VidCon?”_

“Yes.” Dan's voice wavered. 

_“I thought you said you gave it back to its owner?”_

“I did, I did. But then he—and I don't. His fans.” Yeah, he was definitely looking like a snot ogre by now. Yay. 

_“It's ok, honey. Let's just take it slow. You got it back to the boy and how did he react?”_

“He-he posted a video—he's a YouTuber. A really popular YouTuber. And that was fine. It should have been fine. It was fine and then today he posted on Twitter.”

_“So he posted saying thank you right? That's a good thing.”_

“No no. He realized the initials on the note were the initials of my channel.”

_“Oh.”_

“Yeah.”

_“Well, does he know your name?”_

“No, but they know it's me. They won't stop posting on my accounts. They won't leave me alone mom! They're going to find out.”

_“They? Does he have a lot of fans?”_

“So many mom. I don't know what to do.”

_“Well do any of these fans have a way to know for sure it's you?”_

“No, I guess not.”

_“Then everything is fine. They're not going to find out and if they do, they'll see what a wonderful person you are.”_

“But mom–”

_“No buts! This will all blow over soon and if it doesn't we'll make it out just fine. You're not alone Dan.”_ And that's why Dan called his mom. She always knew how to calm him down or, at least, she had learned how to after a while. 

“Thanks mom.”

_“Anytime Bear. Just—just promise me if things get bad again you'll call me?”_ Dan hated that she suddenly sounded so vulnerable. That was his fault though. 

“Yeah. Yeah mom, I promise. I love you.”

_“I love you too.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos!


	10. Chapter 10

**Phil’s POV**

It had been a while since Phil had tweeted about D.H. The Piano Man. Not much had happened since then. D.H. didn't respond or try to contact Phil and eventually everything died down a bit. Phil was pretty disappointed that he got no new information on his Mystery Man. 

One thing did change though. Despite never finding out if they were the same mystery guy, Phil did look more into, who the guys viewers called, Don't Hate The Piano Man. 

And Phil didn't hate the piano man. 

Not one bit. 

Phil started listening to more and more of the YouTubers covers and was getting quite obsessed. And then he heard the few songs where the pianist sang. 

Phil was going to have to rethink which mystery man he wanted to meet…

If matters couldn't be worse, Phil started looking through Piano Man’s tweets. After Phil’s tweet, it seemed like he had avoided social media for a while, but when he started up again, Phil was charmed by the humor. It seemed that Piano Man was just as awkward as Phil but unlike Phil, he showed a lot more sarcasm. 

Phil loved it. 

Yet Phil couldn't do a thing about it. Piano Man seemed absolutely terrified of human interaction in real life and, judging by his disappearing act, virtual interaction was no different. 

Phil was obsessed with a ghost. 

So, more and more time passed with Phil now letting go of Mystery Man and becoming a part of a music YouTubers fandom. Not where he thought he'd end up in all his time on the Internet, but he couldn't complain as he listened to one of Piano Man’s original songs. 

_He needs to make more original son–_

_**Brrrrrriiiinnngg** _

Phil jumped and dropped his phone. 

_**Brrrrrriiiinnngg** _

_**Brrrrrriii–** _

“Hello?”

_“Hey Phil.”_

“Oh Chris. What's up?”

_“What? Did you not check your caller ID?”_

“Hey! The phone scared me. I just wanted it to stop ringing…” Chris started laughing by that point. 

“Anyway what was it you were calling about?”

_“Right right. So I'm going to a club–”_

“No.”

_“Oh come on! I need you there. You're like my wingman.”_

“I said no. You always leave me at those things.”

_“That's because something tells me you don't want a threesome. Please, I'd do the same for you if you ever had a chance with that music lad.”_

_Music lad?_ Phil thought in disgust. _Who the hell is music lad?_

“It's Piano Man. And not the issue here.”

_“If I ditch you, I'll get you a new lense. Sound fair?”_

“Deal.”

_“I'll see you tonight then.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I forgot to let you guys know if there ever a POV you'd like to see from the others perspective let me know and I'll try my best to make that available in life. So far I've pretty much covered both perspectives for the same moments, but I know I've read some pics where I'm dying for more detail on the other perspective. With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and another should be coming soon (and don't worry, it's a longer chapter than this one) ^_^ Don't forget to leave a comment or kudos!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok yeah there's content in this chapter that could be triggering. I added some tags as an extra warning but this is the chapter it's referring to. I hope you'll still read and enjoy this chapter though

**Phil’s POV**

_Nope. Nope. This was a bad idea._

Phil knew he shouldn’t have listened to Chris. He sat at the club completely surrounded by strangers and a girl just tried to stick her hands down his pants. Apparently she was a fan and “knew he would love her as much as she loved him,” despite knowing his preferences. 

Creepy.

“Uh, hi, yeah. I’m sure you’re probably super sweet but, um, can you maybe not keep—” Phil stuttered as she yet again tried to get under his clothing, “—yeah that. Can you maybe not keep doing that?”

_Yeah, not having fun. Thanks Chris,_ Phil thought as he tried to fend the creature off.

The only bright side seemed to be that Chris definitely owed him a new camera lens now. A bittersweet victory in Phil’s opinion.

Phil decided to give the club approximately 30 more minutes before texting Chris that he was getting a cab out. He couldn’t wait.

“Come on, please?” the girl with the wandering hands pouted at Phil. 

Wasn’t this usually supposed to happen the other way around? Like, the desperate guy trying to seduce some chick and automatically sneered at for sexual harassment? Phil couldn’t exactly sneer though could he?

“Again, sorry, but no,” Phil responded.

Thankfully, the girl got up with a bit of a shove and went to the other side of the room.

She still leered at him from across the club but Phil could deal with that as he sipped at his drink.

He hated clubs but knew he should at least follow good club etiquette and have a minimum of one drink. He continued to sip on his drink before his self-sentenced time was up. As time went by, Phil began considering lessening that time because one drink _should not_ make him feel like this.

Actually, come to think of it, something was off. He needed to find Chris.

Phil’s started searching when his phone vibrated.

From Chris— _“Hey I found me a date for the night ;) I promise I’ll repay you for a cab but I’m heading out. Thanks bro!”_

“Shit.” Phil muttered.

The words were far more blurry than they should have been but he got the gist of it.

Phil knew he had to get out of there, but as he stood up to leave, his feet seemed to disagree with that notion.

_No. No I have to…. I have to leave._

He stumbled to the exit, vaguely aware of the girl from earlier making her way there as well.

Phil got out the door, but the cool air did little to help him as he bumped into various strangers.

“Woah there! You alright mate?”

Phil looked to see the man he had just spoken.

“I nee- I neeeed- help. I need help.” Phil panickedly slurred. 

“Ok, alright. I’ll help but I need to kno…” Phil was sure the man had said more but he couldn’t register what the words meant. He only registered that a man with soft brown eyes was going to help him.

 

**Dan’s POV**

Dan won’t lie; he was super bored. He had been cooped up in his flat and had nothing to do. He was temporarily burned out of Tumblr and could only take so many runthoughs of a song before deciding to take a break and come back to it later.

So now he was bored and it was only Saturday. It almost seemed like a treat when he ran out of cereal and had to go to the store. 

The trip there was nothing special. It was a bit late to be getting cereal so all the people in the store were the troll-like night people who probably there because they had the munchies.

Dan wouldn’t judge. At least he was out doing something.

_Ok, maybe this isn’t substantial enough to be considered something..._ Dan thought as he was already checking out.

He walked out of the store and started his trek back to his flat. Despite his dislike of the outdoors, even Dan couldn’t deny that it was a nice night. The air was crisp and flirting with the edge of cold without quite making it.

_Definitely a nice night._

And then reality came crashing back to Dan as a stumbling drunk person collided into him. Dan steadied himself as he looked at who just knocked the wind out of him.

_Fuck. Definitely not a nice night._

AmazingPhil just tried to bulldoze Dan down. Before Dan could really contemplate what the hell his life was, he realized AmazingPhil had already taken back to stumbling the streets.

_Wha— fuck no! The idiot is going to get himself killed…_

With that in mind Dan caught up to the YouTuber who looked like he was about to run into traffic.

“Woah there! You alright mate?”

The man slowly looked up to Dan with blue dilated eyes. And no. Lust is definitely not what had his eyes like that.

“I nee- I neeeed- help. I need help.” 

_Uh, hell yeah, you do. In fact why hasn’t anyone else tried to help you?_

AmazingPhil was obviously inebriated and vulnerable and yet no one around seemed to care.

“Ok, alright. I’ll help but I need to know your address if you want me to get you home. Can you tell me that?” Dan tried to sound as soothing as possible but that didn’t seem to matter as Phil seemed to not hear a thing.

Dan tried again, “Hey, hey. Can you tell me your address? Can you do that for me?”

And no. Phil could not.

_Fantastic._

“Alright mate, looks like you’re staying the night with me then.”

_I’d rather be bored…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit heavier stuff than usual but again I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget comments and kudos make the world go round!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a warning. Stuff from last chapter are mentions so that could be triggery? At least I thought I should mention it here anyway

**Phil’s POV**

Phil blinked awake and... 

_Why is everything so white?_

Oh no, that was just sunlight… Yeah, Phil doesn’t feel so good. His head was pounding, lights seemed to bright and he definitely had a sore neck. Not to mention...

_Where the heck am I?_

Phil did not recognize the place he was at but he did recognize the scent in the air.

Pancakes!

His head still hurt and he wasn’t sure if he could stomach them at the moment but pancakes seemed like a solution to all his problems.

_Onwards to the pancakes!_

And then he found them. Them as in the pancakes and a man. A really cute fluffy man with a jumper and curly brown hair. Also, coincidentally, a man he did not recognize. This frightened Phil as much as the fact that he didn’t know where he was or how to get home.

The stranger still didn’t notice that Phil was there.

_This is awkward._

Phil let out a little cough to signal the man. It worked… sort of? Okay the stranger jumped and dropped the pancake he was working on.

“No!” The stranger yelled at the pancake before looking up at Phil with wide chocolate eyes. “Uh, not you ‘no,’ the pancake ‘no’! I mean, hi. Uh, I promise I didn’t drop any of the other pancakes. I don’t typically go around dropping pancakes. There’s just not usually strangers here to scare me. Not that you’re scary! I just didn’t expect you to be there… uh, I’m Dan?” The stanger’s— no, Dan’s— cheeks became rosey as he ran his finger through his hair.

_Cute._

Phil allowed himself a small amused smile at Dan’s display of communication. The man was just as nervous as Phil was. But probably not as confused. Phil needed to fix that.

“Hi Dan, I’m Phil. And not to be rude, but where am I?”

“Oh! Yeah um, my flat? My flat. I just—sorry I don’t talk to people much.” Now Dan just looked like he’d given up on communication altogether as he looked shamefully to the floor.

“No, no, it’s fine. Can you just tell me what happened last night?” Phil soothed.

“Yeah, of course. Well, I was on my way home from the store and you quite literally bumped into me. I don’t think you realized you did that, but you were in no state to be walking about. I kind of stopped you and you asked for help. You were really out of it and seemed maybe scared? I don’t know. I tried asking for your address but you didn’t answer so here we are.” 

At this point Dan looked concerned. Probably because Phil was beginning to panic.

“Oh god… Oh _god_! I think she slipped me something!”

“Uh what?”

“The girl at the club. I only had one drink and she was harassing me all night.” Phil said putting the pieces together.

She, that stranger, was going to try and sleep with him. She was planning to rape him.

_Oh my god._

Phil felt sick. That was not ok. Nothing about that was ok. Water built up in his eyes.

“Okay alright. That’s fucked up but you are going to be just fine.” Dan tried to calm Phil down.

“No, don’t you get it?! I told her to stop touching me, I said no and because I’m some famous YouTuber she kept trying!” Phil started crying but before he realized it he was wrapped in a hug.

Almost as quickly as he was hugged the arms were gone again. Phil blinked in confusion still trying to rid himself of tears.

“Look at me. It’s going to be ok.”

“No it’s not!”

“It is, I promise. You want to know why?” Phil could only nod at the question. “It’s going to be okay because we are going to make it ok. She did a horrible thing and that is not your fault. She did this and now we are going to do everything we can to make sure nobody does this to you again, alright? You are going to get through this.”

Phil wasn’t sure how Dan planned to accomplish that last part but the amount of certainty he spoke with helped calm Phil down.

“How?” Phil asked still sniffling through tears.

“Well first of all, there are laws surrounding those kind of drugs. I don’t know the specifics but if you wanted we could go to the police and report it. If you don’t want to do that, that’s fine. Do you?”

“I don’t know enough about the girl for that to go anywhere even if I wanted to.” Phil knew there wasn’t any way to track the girl. He had barely paid attention to her appearance and on the off chance there were security cameras, the place was too crowded for that to help. Plus he wasn’t sure he wanted to go through that.

“That’s fine. It’s all you’re choice. You said you were a YouTuber?”

“Yeah, why?” Phil asked cautiously. He never liked where that question led.

“You could also say something on there if you wanted to and ready. Again, it’s all your choice. If maybe writing helps or, hell, I don’t know stress eating? Whatever it is you should do it. The one thing I say you should definitely do is research the topic to try and avoid it happening again, yeah?”

Phil could tell Dan was trying to be gentle while speaking to him. It was sweet even though it seemed against his normal to even be talking to others.

“Yeah ok. That’s a good idea.” After a pause Phil asked, “How come you seem to know so much about this kind of thing?”

“Oh I don’t. I was in law school for a bit and got some of the basics on legal stuff but it wasn’t a good fit for me.”

“Oh one other question.” Dan looked at him expectantly. “Who’s clothes am I wearing?”

**Dan’s POV**

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellloooo humans! I don't really have much to say other than the customary please leave comments and kudos so that my vain little heart can live on. That last part may be an exaggeration but no one can prove anything and I love you all \\(^o^)/


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! Here's the new chapter and an extra thanks for my beta human's help on this one. They have been checking all my chapters since I first mentioned them, but this one was awful before it got betaed. That's why the extra thanks is needed.

**Dan’s POV**

Dan wasn’t quite sure what to do about his unplanned house guest. He had made coffee and pancakes as a sort of ice breaker. Even if that wasn’t the best plan, it clearly didn’t work when he dropped a pancake in surprise. He really didn’t know what to do when Phil started crying but that was the point where he decided he needed to pull himself together for the other. Phil was shaken up and needed someone to at least appear calm.

And then he asked about the clothes.

“Ah well you see. You were a bit out of it and stuff but a bit functional? I promise I didn’t undress you.” Dan said in a rush.

Phil let out a laugh before he adopted an amused smirk.

_That little shit._

“Whatever. Did you want some pancakes or not?” Dan asked grumpily.

“My stomach feels off, but yes please!” he said giving his smarmiest smile.

Dan elected to focus on the first part of the statement. “Your stomach hurts? Do you need any medicine? Water? Coffee?”

Dan could continue but Phil mercifully interrupted.

“Coffee would be nice. And don’t worry about it. I really don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t helped, so thank you.”

“Yeah. I’m sure you’d do the same and I really don’t mind.”

Okay, Dan minded a little. He wasn’t made for socializing and housing a drugged AmazingPhil’s through the night.

_I guess I have to start thinking of his as soley “Phil” now that we’ve met._

“No, but really thanks.” Phil gave him an awkward smile. Dan nodded before an uncomfortable silence set in. Luckily Phil decided to break it, “So, what were you getting at the store at two or three in the morning?”

_Wait what? Oh yeah…_

“I was getting cereal.” Phil just stares at him for a second. “What?”

“Cereal? That’s why you happened to be out when you saved me?”

“I wanted crunchy nut cereal…”

Phil giggles. “At least I know cereal will always look out for me.”

“Cereal has looked out for you before?”

“For all you know cereal is my entire life! It could not only be my breakfast but it could also be essence. Who knows, I could work in a cereal factory. It could be my career.”

“You’d want to work at a cereal factory over being AmazingPhil?” Dan immediately regretted asking this as the moment he did Phil’s smile dropped from his face. 

“You know about my YouTube channel?” He asked his face even paler than usual. 

“I'm sorry, was I not supposed to? You mentioned it earlier and I used to watch vloggers when I was younger but honestly I couldn't tell you a thing about your content now.” 

Dan was worried about Phil’s reaction. He really didn't know anything about Phil’s channel now unless it involved him. 

_Not that Phil knows it's me or why I'd only watch very specific videos of his…_

“Is that why you helped me? Because you know I'm AmazingPhil? Did you think you'd get something out of it?” Phil asked quietly avoiding Dan’s gaze. 

_Excuse me?_

Did Phil think he was worth helping only if there was some kind of reward involved?

“You caught me.” Dan said lightly.

“Oh, okay—” 

“Yep, I brought your stumbling ass here all for an excuse to make pancakes.” Dan cut Phil off before Phil could start to feel any worse. Dan smiled as Phil’s eyes lit up with hope. He hated that the same eyes had held insecurity and doubt only moments before. 

Phil laughed, “I’m sure you could have made pancakes even without me here.”

“Certainly not! There’d be far to many for me to eat all on my own.”

Phil giggled at his theatrics. “I’m sure you could manage if you keep dropping pancakes like that.”

Dan blushed looking at the fallen pancake from before. “Well we can’t all be amazing, can we?” Dan paused to clean up the pancake mess before his curiosity got the better of him, “Hey, how come you freaked out about your YouTube channel anyway?”

And just like that, Dan felt like he kicked a puppy.

**Phil's POV**

Phil’s face dropped in shame. The boy had been nothing but hospitable towards Phil and he had repaid him with suspicion. In all fairness, Phil had been shown over and over that suspicion isn’t a bad trait to have as a YouTuber but what had Dan done to deserve that after just meeting Phil.

Phil was just beginning to start an apology but before he could Dan beat him to it. 

“Um, actually don’t answer that? I’m sorry, I’m in no position to ask. Just ignore me and I’ll just make some pancakes.” Dan said before turning stiffly back to the stove.

_Okay?_

What just happened there? One moment they were having a nice conversation and the next Dan was pale, avoiding eye contact and apologizing. 

Phil was genuinely worried about the boy. 

“No worries? No, I mean there’s no reason to apologize. In fact, are you okay?” Phil asked. 

“Yeah. I'm fine I just—I'm not good at this. Like the whole communicating thing? And then I asked that question and made you uncomfortable. Please don’t be mad. I shouldn’t have asked and you do not have to answer.”

“That's fine. You're fine. Really, I should be the one apologizing. I acted pretty rude myself. I just don’t always like what comes with being AmazingPhil and freaked out. So, I’m sorry as well” 

Dan blinked a few times. “Apology accepted, I guess.” 

However, Phil could see Dan’s eyes still burning with curiosity even if he seemed too panicked to ask Phil any more questions. 

_Ugh fine. I’ll explain myself, happy?_

“Usually when people know who I am, they treat me differently. Typically trying to get something like the girl at the club was.”

“Oh, I treated you different too then.” Dan blurted. 

Phil's blood ran cold, “What?”

“You don't think I'd let a complete stranger in my house did you? Knowing your occupation is internet vlogging star instead of potential axe murderer is helpful. Otherwise you'd have woken up at a police station instead of my couch,” Dan stated matter of factly. 

Oh. _Oh._

Phil could deal with that. 

“I could still be an axe murderer you know,” Phil said with a laugh.

“Doubtful.”

_Well he didn't hesitate with that at all. I could be an axe murderer if I wanted to!_

“Hey! You don't know that. I’m very tough.” Dan giggled and Phil automatically decided that he’d like to hear more of that but before he could continue this endeavor, he had to get something else out. “All jokes aside, I really do appreciate everything you’ve already done for me. Thank you.”

Dan’s eyes became owlish for a moment before he shyly let out a you’re welcome. He seemed amazed at Phil’s thanks for some reason. It’s not like Phil was a complete ass or something… If the man had seen some of his content then Phil thought his politeness shouldn’t have been that surprising.

_Then again, he did say he had only seen some of my earlier stuff when I was still friends with Charlie. Not my best time period for impressions…_

They chatted a bit longer eating breakfast. It had honestly been one of the most pleasant conversations Phil has had in a while. He even dropped a few references to his videos that seemed to go over the others head. It was great.

For the first time in a long time, Phil felt like he was having a genuine conversation. A conversation about anything and everything other than his YouTube channel. A conversation about animes and t.v. 

A conversation that was all too short. 

Phil, inevitably, found that he had no legitimate reason to be there and did not want to overstay his welcome. 

“I can get your clothes back to you later. I'll wash it at mine and it'll be as good as new.” Phil said hoping for an excuse to see the man again.

Dan smiled softly. “Don't worry about it. They can be yours now.”

Phil was disappointed but still left with a smile on his face. He may of had a traumatic night but his morning was spent with the sweetest boy in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated! Let me know how you guys like the chapter ^_^


	14. Chapter 14

**Dan’s POV**

Dan didn’t want Phil to have to come back to his house again. Dan didn’t want to have to interact with the man ever again period.

It’s not that he didn’t have a lovely time talking to him over breakfast, because he did. He _really_ did. The problem was that he couldn’t handle the interaction and the anxiety that came with it.

Dan probably seemed mental to Phil. He knew that he overreacted when he saw Phil’s discomfort and he knew Phil became even more uncomfortable with that overreaction.

In reality, Dan knew exactly why he was acting like that but there was no way Phil could know. Phil couldn't see how Dan felt like he’d done something wrong. How Dan felt like he had said the wrong thing again and how much sudden guilt he felt. How he freaked the fuck out because he wanted to fix that. 

And then cue the sad excuses for apologies and Dan mentally playing over every word he said to Phil with regret. It was not the usual existential crisis Dan was used to, but it was just as unpleasant.

Dan thought Phil was probably relieved that he’d never have to see Dan again. Dan couldn’t keep himself together and knew Phil had to of caught glimpses of that.

_Really, who would ever want to have to deal with me. I can’t even handle a simple conversation without stuttering or rambling. Not to mention I probably seemed like a creep knowing about his channel..._

But Phil had shocked him with his kindness. Dan didn't think he deserved it. He wasn't quite used to receiving the thanks or understanding and he definitely wasn't used to them leading into pleasant conversations. It was actually kind of nice…

Dan shook himself from his thoughts. He was sure Phil would forget him quickly like everyone else seemed to. Still, Dan thought it might be better to lay low on the piano front. Not on his channel of course, but any VidCon or YouTuber event had a temporary hiatus in order. It never hurt to be on the safe side.

_Temporary hiatus it is then!_

Perfect.

**Phil’s POV**

Terrible. 

Phil thought this was absolutely terrible. Not only had he lost his chance at befriending the one person he was able to have a decent conversation with, but now he was also stuck with the same YouTuber crowd that didn't give a crap about him. 

It had been weeks since he met Dan and he couldn't help but think of what a huge mistake he had made. He never asked for the other’s number, Snapchat, social media, or anything. He had nothing. No way to try and reconnect with his rambling knight in shining armor. 

Well, he did know where he lived but that was a bit… creepy to pursue. 

And now Phil was sat at another YouTubers party between Chris and some of Chris’s friends. He probably wouldn't of showed up if it weren't for Louise asking—well, more a mixture of asking and light-hearted threatening— him to come. 

“Hey Phil!” Chris called. When Phil glanced over at him, he could guess from Chris’s expression that it hadn’t been the first time Chris had tried to get his attention. 

“Sorry, what was that?”

“I just asked how you liked the club we went to a couple of weeks ago.” Chris looked at Phil expectantly as if Phil could possibly say he enjoyed it there. 

_Oh yeah._

“You owe me a camera lense.”

“Wha–”

“Camera lense,” Phil repeated without a trace of humor in his voice. 

“But come on! You can't tell me you had no fun that night. Wasn't there some girl that liked you?”

_Liked._ Phil thought bitterly. _That's one way of putting it._

“No there wasn't. There was however a girl trying to get in my pants all night because she knew about my channel. Plus, you do remember I'm gay right, Chris?”

Phil realized he might sound a bit snippy but if Dan hadn't helped things could've been a lot worse. He had a right to be snippy. 

“Loosen up a bit, mate. I'll get you a new camera lense, jeez.”

_Good._

They both settled back into their roles in the previous conversation. In other words Phil went back to daydreaming while Chris socialized like a functioning human being.

_Why am I even staying over here?_ Phil thought as the conversations around him continued on.

Eventually he excused himself and decided upon a secluded corner sufficient enough to hide him. Only later when music notes started playing did he realize that he was seated in an area that the event plans musicians and…

_Holy fluff, is that Dan?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllooooo world!!! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. If you didn't well you're welcome to tell me but you will also hurt my heart so prepare to feel like you kicked a puppy... If you did enjoy it then yay! Also feel free to tell me and prepare to feel like you made my day because you probably did. That's all from me! Enjoy your existence! >_<  
> P.S. Sorry if the chapter seems short or like I left you on a cliffhanger...


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah there was no way I wasn't going to post a chapter for Dan's birthday. Am I a dork? Sure, but I'm a happy dork. Enjoy the chapter life forms!

**Dan’s POV**

Dan really did give the venue hiatus a decent try, and he wouldn't dream that anyone would remember him for long, but in reality...

_I love playing and I'm weak. Sue me._

So that's how he found himself playing another venue just a few weeks after the Phil Incident. He played a few sets before taking a small break for water. Generally speaking, he was playing a more low key selection that day, but it's not like anyone was really listening behind the chatter anyway. May as well give them some Für Elise as background. No harm in doing more classical for once. 

Or at least he thought until some oaf started heckling him. That was new. 

“Come on, is that all you can play? Did no one ever teach you to be interesting?”

_Has no one ever taught you to be polite?_ Dan quipped in his head. 

“Hey! I'm speaking to you or are you deaf?”

_Clearly I'm not… though I suppose that'd be nicer than having to hear your voice._

Despite the snarky remarks in his head, the man freaked Dan out a bit. No one was paying attention to his behavior and Dan was not one for confrontation. At all. 

“I’m sorry. I can play something a little more upbeat if you'd like,” Dan offered quietly. 

“Speak up!” The stranger barked in response. 

_Uh oh._

“I-I can play something mo-more upbeat” the repetition slightly louder if not more timid. 

“No, I just complained hoping you'd continue to bore everyone to death,” the man said sardonically to Dan which only increased Dan's wariness of the situation. 

“O-okay then.” 

Dan went to continue his playing but found that _oh god no he couldn't._

He tried to play a few notes to a more cheerful song but it came out as a stutter with his hands now shaking. 

“So–sorry” 

Dan went to attempt again but could only repeat the same stuttering notes before he forgot what he was trying to even play. All throughout his increasing panic, the stranger stood menacingly by him. Why did the man even care that much? 

At the realization that Dan probably wasn't going to play, the stranger got near his face as if the closer proximity would help get his point across. 

“Well? Is that it? You can't even play another song?” Dan smelled hints of alcohol on his breath. 

_That explains it._

Dan now stood up as well, if for no other reason than to have a way to bolt if need be. He wasn't adept to diffuse the situation at all. In fact, as he stood there trying to figure out what to do, the other man got progressively angrier. 

“Really?! Does this place hire any rat that asks for a job? Can you even play piano?”

_Can I even play piano? No, it's just my career because a magical fairy gave me it as compensation for when I go into a death-like sleep._

“What did you just say?”

_Oh my god. What did I just say? Did I_ **_actually_** _say that out loud?!_

If he thought the stranger looked angry before, he was livid now. Why couldn't Dan's thoughts have just _stayed thoughts_?

“Oh my– I am so– I apologize sir. I am so so–” Dan tried in vain to calm the man down but was cut off by a shove making him tumble to the ground. 

Now Dan was scared. Not that he wasn't before, but that was when things weren't physical. He would've started begging for mercy if it weren't for the fact that in the next instant, someone was standing between him and the stranger. And wait a minute–

_Is that Phil?_

“Charlie.”

**Phil’s POV**

In the end, Phil couldn't decide on how to approach Dan. The other was technically working at the event and not just attending like Phil was. He couldn't just interrupt a person’s work and even if he did, what would he say? “Hey it's me again, the guy you found drugged on the street. Good news, haven't been drugged since” didn't seem like an approach Phil wanted to take. 

Eventually, Phil found a place to sit and listen to Dan play piano. Although he was playing more classical than Phil preferred, Phil found himself enjoying the music. 

_I wonder if he's ever heard of D.H. The Piano Man. Then we could nerd out together!_

That'd be fun considering all of Phil's other friends thought it was stupid. They didn't care much for the music scene and definitely did not geek out over mysterious piano players on the internet. 

Plus it'd be a great way to try and break the ice with Dan. 

Phil was interrupted from his musings when he realized the music had stopped. Phil looked up and—

“You've got to be kidding me.”

How was it that even when Charlie decides not to harass Phil he still ends up harassing Phil?

For, lo and behold, Charlie talking to Dan by the piano. 

_Maybe talking is the wrong word though…_

Charlie seemed to be giving Dan a hard time but Phil wanted to let the guy fight his own battles before trying to help. And if Phil were to be honest, he did not want to get involved with Charlie. 

However, that resolve changed the second that Charlie’s face started resembling a rabid dog with anger. With that imagery in place, Phil started making his way to the duo. 

Right as he was nearing him, it happened. Phil watched as Dan tumbled to the ground. 

_Bitch. Be prepared._

Phil had taken a lot because of Charlie in the past but that was his breaking point. Phil never put up with outright violence and he wasn't about to start today. 

Placing himself between the two, Phil addressed the offending frog-wart of a man. 

“Charlie.”

“Lester.”

Now generally speaking, Phil liked his clean mouthed branding and in real life tried to stick with it. Charlie, however, deserved no such curtesy from anyone. It'd practically be a sin to give it to him. 

Phil's not a sinner. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Dan had gotten back up and repositioned himself to the side where he could face both Phil and Charlie. Currently, his gaze was locked onto Phil with a shocked expression. 

“Phil, it’s fine. We should just let this go and I'll play something better, I promise.” Dan looked as if he wanted to curl up in a corner and disappear. 

“Something better?”

Dan was playing just fine in Phil’s opinion. The fact that he was suggesting otherwise only fueled Phil's anger towards Charlie. 

Dan glanced around nervously, “Please Phil, just drop it.”

“No, do you want me to treat you like you're some talentless idiot?! Because you're not. He,” Phil said pointing towards the other vlogger, “on the other hand, is and you deserve to be treated better than that.” 

Phil knew that Charlie did far more than harass Dan to warrant this amount of anger and Phil couldn't help it. He wouldn't let the man tear down any more people if he could help it. 

However, at the moment Charlie seemed suspiciously smug. Come to think of it, his reaction to this was rather odd… and Dan seemed a bit off to. 

Dan was looking around the room and was completely on edge. Just as Phil was going to ask, Dan bolted. 

Huh. 

That was weird. Maybe it was too much confrontation for the other man? It was certainly more confrontation than Phil was comfortable with. 

Phil kind of wanted to go check on Dan but knew he should cool off a bit first. Also it seemed as if Dan were a magician in another life because the boy simply vanished. 

He ran out like a bat out of hell and Phil doubted he could find him even if he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Kudos? I'll appreciate anything I get!


	16. Chapter 16

**Phil's POV**

**_BzzBzzBzz_ **

_Huh? Wha?_

**_BzzBzzBzz_ **

Oh, phone. 

And a lot of texts. That couldn't be good. Phil groggily woke up to whatever pending doom was giving his phone a heart attack. He barely caught the words of “PHILIP LESTER CHECK YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA” before his heart dropped. 

_What's going on on my social media…?_ Phil thought worriedly, looking at the aggressive text. 

Phil decided to start with twitter. 

_Ooh a video!_

…  
…  
…

_No._

_NoNoNoNoNo. This is bad._ **_Really_** _bad._

Lo and behold, a video of Phil. Specifically a video of Phil where he appeared to be screaming at a pianist that he was talentless. Somehow between the angling and reactions, Phil looked heartless as he watched it. 

**Video**  
Dan had just began to stand up from the ground and the camera angle only showed Dan and Phil. 

_“Phil, it’s fine. We should just let this go and I'll play something better, I promise.”_ Dan looked pleadingly at the YouTuber in the video. 

_“Something better?”_

_“Please Phil, just drop it.”_

_“No, do you want me to treat you like you're some talentless idiot?!”_

The camera seemed to not pick up his next words but definitely picked up Dan’s watery eyes before he ran away.

**End video**

It definitely looked like Phil just snapped and snarled at an innocent pianist. And yes, it horrifyingly looked like Phil could have pushed him because of where the video started. 

This was very bad. 

Every word of Phil's was laced with untapped malice towards Charlie but every waver in Dan’s voice suggested another story. One they both knew wasn't the case. 

It was also one the public would never believe if Phil tried to explain this. 

Looking at the comments alone he could tell he was probably ruined. 

_“Looks like Phil's not as amazing as we thought”_  
_“did he– DID OUR AMAZING PUFFBALL OF INNOCENCE PUSH A GUY DOWN?!?!?!”_  
_“I know everyone's upset but is anyone surprised? Honestly no one could've been that perfect”_  
_“I can't believe I cared about him!”_  
_“Come on guys lay off! We all knew his success would go to his head”_  
_“Does he honestly think its ok to do that to people?”_  
_“Who's really the talentless idiot here?”_

Phil felt sick. He wasn't vain enough to believe his former fans should like him with how the video appeared but he didn't want to be hated. 

And that's all he was at the moment. 

Hated. 

Looking at the post all he saw were attacks. For his looks, personality, videos, anything Phil could think of. And they were everywhere. 

He checked all of his social media and it was the same results. More hate, less followers, and an increasing sinking feeling in Phil's stomach. His fans and his followers could hate him at the drop of a dime. He knew how he looked in the video, but how could the people he put so much care into hate him so suddenly?

And then he cried. 

Phil curled up in the corner and cried for the people he thought cared about him. 

He simply cried. 

_Just like the talentless idiot they think I am._

**Dan’s POV**

This really could not have gone worse. From the moment Dan left the venue, he had a terrible sense of dread. 

_I shouldn't have ran…_

But Dan did. Because all while Phil tried to defend Dan, there had been an increasing amount of people looking towards them. More importantly, he noticed one starting to record them. 

And Dan noped right out of that situation. 

Yep, he nopety noped straight to the bathroom to finish his panic attack and cry… manly tears. 

And, coincidentally, tears caused by a YouTuber _not_ named Phil despite what the world believed. 

But no, instead of helping, Dan woke up the next morning only to see an onslaught of vicious words to Phil A.K.A. the only one kind enough to try and help Dan out. 

And don't think Dan didn't appreciate the gesture, no matter how horribly the results turned out. Dan was genuinely scared once the stranger pushed him to the ground and Dan _knows_ people had to be actively ignoring what was going on. There wasn’t a chance that Phil was the first to see the conflict arise but he was the first to do something about it. 

And now he was suffering because of it. 

_Suffering because of me._

How was that even fair? Sure, Dan hated everything to do with the YouTube life (other than posting his music anonymously) but that didn't mean he wanted YouTubers to get hurt. 

And if Phil read even a fraction of comments being said right now, he had to be hurt. 

Dan hoped that after a few days it'd die down a bit, but if anything it felt like it got worse. Dan began feeling worse and worse the longer it went on, unable to escape the horrific words no matter where he went on the Internet.

He had to do something. And he had an idea of what that something should be. 

_God I am not going to like this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry if it's been a bit since I've updated. Also on Thursday I'm going to be traveling some so I might be MIA for a while for posting at least. As always, please leave a comment or kudos. Also I've been meaning to ask, is it odd that I write back to all the comments? It's my way of saying thank you but if anyone is super anxiety about me responding and doesn't want me to, let me know. I don't know how social communication works...  
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Byyyye!


	17. Chapter 17

**Phil's POV**

**_BzzBzzBzz_**

_Oh no._

**_BzzBzzBzz_ **

_Not again._

Phil was beginning to genuinely believe he should burn his phone. Towards the beginning of this fiasco he kept getting text from YouTube “friends” who were either angry or “very disappointed in his behavior.” Very few seemed to care how he was holding up. But he appreciated those few and had refrained from burning his phone for them. Well that and it had his family contacts.

**_BzzBzzBzzz_ **

Still he could transfer a few numbers…

From Louise– _“Phil you're not going to believe this! Go on youtube and look up ‘amazing Phil what really happened’. I swear it's good news!”_

_I need some good news._

Phil did as instructed and just clicked the first video not really paying attention. 

There was a sort of pause at the beginning presumably for checking the camera and then…  
_“Hi,”_

_Dan?_

_“Uh, my name is Dan,”_ he said making brackets with his fingers before wincing.  
_“Oh God, that was cringey.”_

_Yep that’s Dan…_

_“Okay so I'm going to be honest real quick. This whole video is probably going to be a mess and I can't like edit it out because I don't know how to edit this sort of thing”_

_Yeah, you really don't…_

_“But I had to make this. Uh, so like I mentioned earlier, I'm Dan. And if you sort of recognize me it's probably from the one video of Phil that everyone is freaking out about.”_ He ended the last statement like a question almost as if he was unsure about it himself.  
_“So that was me. I play a lot of venues where there's YouTubers or anywhere just in general. I know this all seems a bit far fetched but I can literally link their site and you can check it out yourself. I can manage at least that much in this train wreck of a video. I'd be under performers as Dan Howell and I am like the only pianist listed. It's got the dates and everything. Hell, if that's not enough, I even took a picture at the damn place.”_  
Dan held up his phone to the lense and scrolled between a couple of pictures before showing the screen. The washed out phone light made it slightly hard to tell what was on the screen, but Phil could make out Dan holding the phone to show a piano and, in the distance, a big stage with YouTube’s logo. Behind the phone, Dan bit his lip and then lowered it back down.  
_“Anyway that's not the point. The point is that a lot of you have been saying a lot of hateful things about AmazingPhil.”_  
Nerves seemed to lace Dan’s voice but he continued to rant, _“I mean, yes I get it. I’d be mad too. If he'd actually meant it like that. And that doesn't make quite a lot of sense does it?”_  
Dan paused to gather his thoughts.  
_“Let me explain. I play these venues a lot and sometimes I enjoy it more than others. This time not so much. Some guy came up to me and started demanding that I play something more upbeat. And before that statement gets out of hand, that wasn’t Phil. I don’t know who it was but he started being pretty rude and yelling at me.”_  
Dan gained more confidence in his voice while in his story but he still avoided looking at the camera.  
_“And then my idiot ass had to make a smart comment. Great for me because that’s also when I realize he was drunk and got pushed to the floor”_  
Dan briefly look at the camera directly before diverting his eyes. 

_I wish he wouldn’t do that,_ Phil thought, but he felt a stirring of fondness for Dan.

_“Thats where Phil came in. You see, I had met him briefly before, so I guess he recognized me and wanted to help? I don't know. Either way he was pretty fired up. He may have recognized the other guy but I was a bit preoccupied with panicking to notice. I hate conflict and attention so I was wanting Phil to just drop it but it seemed like he heard the stranger insinuate that I was talentless. Which caused part of what everyone is mad about. What you guys probably didn't hear on the crappy phone mic was Phil trying to encourage me? Like he said ‘do you want me to treat you poorly because you don't deserve that’ kind of idea?”_  
Dan looked a bit helpless.  
_“I'm not explaining this right but I don't know how else to explain it. Bad camera angles and out of context words made Phil seem horrible. But really he was the only one to help me. Literally, I was in a room full of precious be-famed and loved YouTubers and only one decided to help me. And all the thanks he gets is vicious comments just because I saw a few cameras and ran off.”_  
His voice started wavering and Phil wanted to hug the guy.  
_“I am so sorry Phil. I know this is all because of me.”_

_No. Don't say that! You did nothing wrong._

_“I just wanted to make this right again. Like, I really hate this whole video thing and I was hoping it'd just die down. But it didn't and I couldn't just let that be. I don't even know if this will fix things, but I hope it does. I tried my best anyway to show what happened.”_  
Dan paused a moment seeming to be clearing his head.  
_“Uh, I'm not really sure how to end this. If it's cool with everyone can we please forget my cringyness and just remember the message? In fact, can we forget my face in general? I honestly can't deal with my face being known or strangers approaching me or really anything. So, uh, yeah, I guess I just turn this off now? Bye?”_  
And the video clip shut off. 

Phil sat there a moment to process everything he heard. Everything about the video was a mess but…

_That was so adorable._

Did he really just let the video start with him complete silence as he sat down for starting the video? It had no jump cuts and no editing done to it whatsoever. Really, it just oozed naivety and sincerity. 

Unbelievable. 

And yet so Dan. 

Phil had forgotten how much the man had nervously rambled and how shy yet passionate he came off. He just wished the other was more confident in himself. 

And evidently most seemed to believe Dan. 

Phil looked at the comments and it appeared that most had changed their tune towards Phil. Phil also noticed that it wasn't all out of belief in Phil's good will though. Many seemed touched by Dan's sincerity but the fact that no one could solidly argue Dan's claims had helped. 

Not only had Dan provided a website as evidence but also the pictures of himself at the venue were shown in the video. That and the video that got them into this mess clearly showed Dan’s face. Now the people had the name and story from that face. 

A few still commented that Phil probably paid Dan off but even those were quickly defended by other fans. 

Phil huffed a laugh and picked up his phone, opening his messenger app.

To Louise– _“I can't believe this…”_

From Louise– _“I know! Do you know the boy??”_

To Louise– _“Of course I do. Everything he said was true but I still can't believe it. He seemed so shy when I met him. I didn't think he would do this”_

From Louise– _“You better thank the stars he did otherwise I don't think you'd ever have gained back your audience's trust”_

To Louise– _“I know, I know. I'm just shocked...”_  
To Louise– _“And happy. Definitely happy.”_

Yes. Phil was definitely happy at the moment. 

Extremely happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back! I had a good time traveling. I only swam in one creek that I later found out there was an alligator in recently. Honestly that wouldn't have stopped me but if anyone wants the full story of that, let me know. Anyway, I was super happy reading the responses last chapter and please comment/kudos this chapter. Sorry for making you guys wait so long!


	18. Chapter 18

**Dan’s POV**

_I regret my actions. I repent, world,_ Dan thought hysterically. 

Maybe he didn't regret trying to make things right with Phil but he definitely didn't like the backlash attention he was getting. 

It felt like all eyes were on him and after a few panic attacks and many phone calls to his mom he decided to delete his personal social media accounts and become a full time stay at home hobo. 

Dan knew it was the right choice when he realized how easy it was for people to internet stalk him and everything about his life. Although Dan's video was still up, there were now no accounts for Phil’s fans to invade his personal life with anymore. 

The real crisis reared its ugly head when a few recognized him on the streets. Dan profusely denied his identity but later found some creeper shots taken of him on the internet. 

Hence his stay at home hobo resolve. Or maybe “hermit” was the correct term? Recluse? Mental wreck?

Not the point. 

At least Phil got out of the ordeal okay. Much like Dan, they seemed to be repenting their actions (if not for different reasons). Dan would find it more comical and sad if he weren't focused on his own issues at hand. 

He was out of food. 

He had to now go back in the open where all the crazy Phil fans dwelled because he was out of food. 

_Why can't I just be able to photosynthesis like plants? There's a window, I'd get sunlight, I could make it._

Plants also couldn't go on Tumblr though… 

Dan knew he was just delaying his departure from his safety zone. He also knew that he couldn't order in pizza forever. 

With that in mind he grabbed his keys and wallet and headed to the same store that caused his meeting Phil. 

Luckily, no one had payed him much mind on his way there and he was currently browsing the different isles of the store. 

That is until is until he heard a small nervous voice behind him. 

“Dan?”

_PleasePleasePleeeeaaaase don’t be another one of Phil’s fans._

Dan turned to see Phil.

…  
…  
…

_THE ENEMY!_

It was Phil. Of course it was Phil. The one with the fans driving him to hermithood. 

“What the? This is your fault!” Dan accused partially surprised and partially hysteric. 

Phil looked at him confused. “What's my fault?”

“You're fans! I mean I guess it's not really your fault. You didn't decide for them to be crazy about you or for me to make that video but—but still!” Dan looked towards Phil desperately hoping that the other understood his outburst. Come to think of it, since when did Dan casually have outbursts to Phil? 

_Oh no…_

“Uh I mean, please forget that just happened and I will just subtly go die in a hole,” Dan said backtracking his previous rudeness while looking like a deer in headlights. 

“Don't do that! I was just going to thank you for the video but what's this about my fans?” Phil asked with a mixture of concern and amusement in his eyes. 

“You see some of your people are a little more avid acquiring any source to fangirl over you with. In other words, quite a few people have approached me like I'm their Fangirl Overlord or something. I think a few named me the president of the Phil Lester Protection Squad or something. I don't even know what half of them mean. And really who gets to decide that? Do they have a committee or something?” Dan rambled off in slight horror of the possibility of a committee actually existing before he remembered he was talking to a human being. 

A human being who was now stifling giggles. 

“No, no formal committee. I'm pretty sure you have to be inducted for your official protection squad title.”

Dan looked absolutely indignant. “Shu—shut up! I don't want their attention. They've practically forced me into solitude.”

Now Phil’s face morphed into an expression of concern. “Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was that bad. Is there any way I could help?”

_Oh now I've gone and made him sad._

Dan felt a bit guilty as, while yes it was bad and Dan could not handle it, this shouldn't be Phil's problem. 

“Ah no. I mean I can manage, don't worry about it mate.”

Phil looked at him calculating. “Are you sure?” Dan nodded but Phil didn't stop there. “Give me your phone. 

_Mugged by a YouTuber. What a classic Dan way to be mugged._

Ignoring this thought, Dan numbly handed his phone over accepting his fate. 

Phil looked at Dan for a second before, “Password?”

_Wow we are going all the way with this theft, aren't we?_

Needless to say, Dan typed in the passcode. 

A few more moments passed before Phil placed the phone back into Dan's hands. 

_Mugging failed! Joy._

“I put my number on it. If you have any more troubles let me know, okay?”

Okay, that makes more sense than a mugging but it really has been a crazy week. But wait—

“What?”

Phil looked at Dan sheepishly. “I feel really bad knowing that my fans are making you uncomfortable. The least I could do is give you my number so you can have someone to rant to.”

“That's actually very sweet. But no, it's not that bad. You just got me after a week of dealing with it. I know it'll die down so please don't worry. But also thank you? For the offer and stuff?”

“I’d do anything for the President of the Phil Lester Protection Squad.”

Dan groaned. “No, that's not a thing. We are not making a thing. You even said there's some kind of induction so officially that _cannot_ be a thing.”

Phil smirked. “We’ll see about that.”

“What th—Phil! Phil! What do you mean by that?” Dan tried to ask but was barely heard between Phil's giggles. “Phil?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Phil replied airily to the wide eyed boy. “I've got to go though. Bye Dan!”

Dan just stared as Phil walked away. 

_What the hell?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey life forms! I'm excited to be posting. Not much going on in my life right now but I'm happy to report that I've finally continuing writing at where I'm at in the story (I always try to be a few chapters ahead just in case). I had a bit of a block but I'm confident at where I'm at now. Anyway feel free to comment and leave kudos! Let me know if you thought the chapter was good or not.  
> 


	19. Chapter 19

**Phil's POV**

Phil loved fate. No one could convince him that meeting Dan again was coincidence considering they've now met randomly on three different occasions. And sure, the first two weren't the best of circumstances, but Phil thought it was maybe worth it. 

That's why when he saw Dan at the store he got super excited. The man seemed to be contemplating foods and had an adorably confused look on his face. 

Phil had to admit he had a little crush on Dan. Nothing substantial but maybe a _slight_ infatuation with him. Phil thought it was maybe because the man basically saved Phil twice but that didn't excuse how endearing he seemed. 

Dan had seemed so startled when Phil spoke to him that Phil almost regretted saying anything, but finally they started talking and then Phil found out his fans were troubling him. Dan immediately tried to soothe Phil’s worries but Phil knew that fans could be a bit… much. Despite this, he and Dan had a relatively pleasant conversation. Phil was amused by Dan's creative explanations anyway. Also, Phil was over the moon about finally getting Dan's contact information. He had sent himself a text from Dan's phone and was determined not to let Dan slip away this time. 

_Jeez I sound like a stalker…_

Phil, however, had to put his thoughts aside. After Dan let out his video, many were asking questions about what happened and who Dan was. He didn't know how to address all of those questions until he bumped into Dan. 

Now Phil knew exactly what he had to do. 

Dan might not like it…

**Phil's Video**  
“Hi guys! So loads of you have been asking about the event.” Cut scene. 

“For those of you wondering ‘Phil what event could you possibly mean?’” Cut scene

“I mean the one where I looked like I was saying horrible things to Dan and then Dan posted a video explaining his point of view.” Cut scene. 

“So, many of you have posted comments and questions after Dan's video. And by ‘many’ I mean _everyone_.” The screen show snips of different twitter and YouTube posts. 

“And now I want to tell you my point of view.” Cut scene. 

“So as many of you know, I go to a lot of YouTube events. It's to try to build up the community and are typically supposed to be fun events.” Cut scene. 

“Usually I just end up in a corner eating all of the food but yay community.” The camera zooms in on Phil's face. Cut scene. 

“Anyway. This time I ended up in a room where Dan was playing. I had met him briefly a couple of weeks earlier but that's a separate story. Basically he helped me from wandering the streets and probably getting run over by a car.” Phil put a thoughtful finger to his chin as if deep in thought before adding, “Or by a giraffe. You never know what I might run into on the streets of London!” Cut scene. 

“So needless to say I was pretty surprised to see him there. I had no idea he even played piano and then a very drunk guy went up to him. I was going to let Dan be but then he got pushed and I had to step in.” Cut scene. 

“Yes, to answer everyone’s question, I did recognize the drunk guy but no I won't say who. I know that seems kind of bad of me, not to point people to the culprit but I just can't do it. After being on the receiving end of that anger, I really don't want to cause that for anyone else even if they deserve it.” Cut scene. 

“Also no, I'm not mad at anyone. I've had way too many messages from fans asking for forgiveness but I was never mad. The whole thing was a huge misunderstanding and I didn't know how to fix it. So thanks, Dan, for helping.” Cut scene. 

“That's also the last point I want to mention. I ran into Dan at the store guys! Yeah, I couldn't really believe it and was super nervous to talk to him but I did.” Cut scene. 

“I basically thanked him but also found out something kind of interesting. Apparently some of you guys have approached him? And like I get it but he's not really into the YouTuber lifestyle so if you could all respect his privacy that’d be nice.” Cut scene. 

“He was honestly pretty nice about it all and mentioned that fans seemed to name him President of the Phil Lester Protection Squad. I told him there was an induction needed for that process. So—” Phil smirked at the camera. 

“Dan Howell, I hereby name you the President of the Phil Lester Protection Squad. The fans are my witness and may you hold the title with pride!”

“That's all from me guys! My content isn't usually like this, but if you want to hear more from me, please subscribe and feel free to leave a comment below if you have any more questions or anything. Bye!”

**Phil's POV**

From Dan– _“What did you do?”_  
From Dan– _“Why did a girl just call me Mr. President?”_  
From Dan– _“Her friend asked me to look after you. Phil. What. Is. Happening.”_  
From Dan– _“They went away but are still looking at me like I'm an idol Phil”_  
From Dan– _“I'm not an idol…”_

To Dan– _“Told you I'd get you inducted ;)”_

**Dan’s POV**

_Why?_

Dan no longer thought Phil was nice. Nice people people didn’t go shove people into spotlights. After getting home and watching Phil’s video, Dan could see that he had tried. But then the humor got the best of the YouTuber. 

To Phil– _“INDUCTED?! Phil, why would you induct me (I just got home and watched it :/)”_

From Phil– _“Because I said I would… Did I mess up?”_

To Phil– _“Kind of. That probably just brought more attention to me”_

From Phil– _“I’m sorry :( how can I make it up to you?”_

Dan thought about this for a bit. Phil didn’t technically do anything wrong. The only difference from before was now that when he was approached the conversation was steered more towards how much fans love Phil rather than “OMG TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT PHIL ASKDJGHSODJGW”

Fans were scary…

To Phil– _“Don’t worry about it. I know you tried. Plus being their president is easier than being their Phil Informant.”_

From Phil– _“... what stuff did they ask you before?”_

To Phil– _“A couple asked for your address, one asked what you smelled like… and there were some less than vanilla questions.”_  
To Phil– _“I don’t just hide away for no reason.”_

From Phil– _“Omg.”_

To Phil– _“Ik”_

From Phil– _“So what do I smell like?”_

_This man is asking for death…_

To Phil– _”I told them you smell like a dandelion eating a toad on a warm summer’s day. What do you think I said? I didn’t exactly think “Oh hey, there’s a guy sleeping on my couch. Let’s sniff him!””_

From Phil– _“Touche. I don’t know your hobbies.”_

Dan actually laughed at this rolling his eyes. _Thanks Phil, for not assuming my hobbies._

From Phil– _“I am sorry about the whole youtube thing though.”_

To Phil– _“Forget about it. It’s drunk guys fault, not yours.”_  
To Phil– _“And now the questions are a little more tame so you really did help.”_

From Phil– _“Yeah but I know ‘drunk guy’ and trust me, he would do something like this to get at me :/”_

That’s interesting. Dan thought that everyone liked Phil. He made a reputation for himself as a kind ray of sunshine. 

_Yeah except to me,_ Dan thought bitterly looking back at his teenage years. But that was another story and this Phil seemed different than the Phil Dan remembered at 18. Either way, Drunk Guy’s actions were his own. 

To Phil– _“Unless you forced him to get drunk and then harass me, I’m sticking with not your fault mate.”_

There was a long pause before the next message came. So much of a pause that Dan began to wonder if Phil did force the man and this was some elaborate plot to mess with Dan. 

From Phil– _“Nope, I only harass people by inducting them into my fandom ;)”_

And with that all tension from the conversation leaving Dan with only one viable response. 

To Phil– _“You little shit.”_

They continued bantering for a while and Dan was honestly surprised at how easy it was. Just like when he had breakfast with Phil, the conversation came naturally till they ended up on the topic of video games. 

From Phil– _“I could so beat you at video games!”_

To Phil– _“Doubtful. In my mastery of procrastination, I've had many hours to hone my Mario Kart skills.”_

From Phil– _“Why don't you come over to mine sometime and we can play then.”_

_Oh no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh em jeepers guys! I started to update this chapter then had a mini crisis when I realized how close my updates are to where I'm at with writing. Anyway, I promised myself that I'd update today so it's literally just been a waiting game of when I'd get the availability to post (it's been a busy day). I'm going to stop myself from rambling now. Pretty please leave a comment and/or kudos! Byyye


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got some end notes that you can feel free to ignore but here is the next chapter. It's a short chapter but I hope you like it. Let me know if you do ^_^

**Phil's POV**

Phil was so happy to be talking to Dan. After making sure the man wasn't upset about the YouTube video (Phil couldn't believe how he never considered the backlash of that) they had started up a riveting text conversation. It was going so well that Phil somehow ended up inviting Dan over. And now Dan hasn't replied for the last few minutes. 

Panic time. 

To Dan– _“I mean you don't have to”_  
To Dan– _“Like don't feel any pressure or anything”_  
To Dan– _“You can forget I asked”_  
To Dan– _“if you want”_

From Dan– _“Calm down, its fine. It's just are you sure you want me over? I'm a bit of a mess”_

Awe. That's not what Phil was expecting. He thought he had creeped the guy out and he was going to avoid Phil. 

To Dan– _“Of course I do! I wouldn't have asked otherwise. So do you want to?”_

From Dan– _“Yeah it sounds fun.”_

Yes! He said yes.

_Oh gosh. I wonder what food he likes. I'm going to have to clean up. He won't find my flat dorky will he? I hope not. He is a piano player and probably all fancy and stuff. What was his flat like? I should've paid attention to something other than the pancakes. Damn you pancakes! They were pretty good pancakes though…_ Phil's thoughts were racing halfway in excitement and half in nervousness. 

Texting Dan a bit more, they decided on meeting up on the weekend and Phil sent him his address. Neither seemed to have a schedule to prevent them from meeting during the week but something always seemed right about the weekends. Plus it gave Phil about two days to clean his flat. 

Phil looked around the room. _He probably won't mind the nerdiness…_

**Dan's POV**

This was an unexpected development. Actually, it was a weirdly natural development considering how well he and Phil clicked, but Dan was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was waiting for Phil to come to the same conclusion he did when Dan was a fan of his. 

Admittedly, Dan used to idolize Phil as a teen. He immediately commented on all of Phil's videos and tried to get the man’s attention. That was, until Phil DMed him. 

He asked Dan to stop. 

Well actually it was a bit more crushing than that to Dan. He had opened a message from his hero excitedly only to find rejection. Phil had said that all of his posts and comments were starting to freak him out and that it was creepy. Phil put it as politely as possible but the message was still clear: go away. 

Dan knew his post were borderline flirtatious and excessive, but he thought he had never crossed the line into stalkerish and creepy. To find out that AmazingPhil had taken it that way hurt. Especially when the main reason that Dan's obsession with him started was because he believed that someone like Phil was the only kind of person that would accept him. And he didn't accept him. 

At all. 

After that Dan forgoed vloggers and YouTubers as a whole. He could never face putting himself in that position again. Of course Dan never held it against Phil for asking for privacy but that didn't change the fact that Dan has never felt confident around people since then. 

And why now? Why was it that when Dan felt he had his life put together did Phil come in and make it chaotic again? More importantly, how long will it take Phil to come to the same conclusion as before? That Dan wasn't good enough. With Phil came all of Dan's old insecurities and he didn't know if he'd be able to deal with it over again. He didn't want to relive the shit show his life was before he got into music. So he had to say no. 

For his own sake he had to say no. He shouldn't have even started talking to Phil in the first place. 

And then Phil panicked. Just like Dan would've. In the same anxiety filled way that Dan recognized to well within himself to say no to Phil. At that point, he didn't know anyone who could have the heart to reject Phil. Any bullshit excuse would feel like killing a butterfly. 

_Really, I should just suck it up and let it go,_ Dan thought in self deprecation. He knew that he wouldn't just be able to let go one of the most traumatizing moments of his life but he could at least try and move on despite it. So he texted Phil giving him an easy out. 

He didn't take it. 

Huh. 

To Phil– _“Yeah it sounds fun.”_

From Phil– _“Yay! This is going to be so much fun!”_

Dan will just have to be careful this time. He just wouldn't let himself get attached. He wouldn't let himself be broken. 

Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I've been hesitating to mention this but I have a tumblr. It's the same username and stuff but I haven't mentioned it because it's cringey (for lack of a better word). Also I don't use tumblr right. Like trust me, I don't and it's shameful. I'm mainly mentioning it as a just in case someone found that a way they'd like to communicate/ask questions or whatever? Realistically, my tumblrs not interesting and no one should go on it. I'll probably regret even mentioning that later but if you've made it to this chapter who knows what is possible.  
> Ima go now...


	21. Chapter 21

**Dan's POV**

Phil hid his face. 

“Oh my God, Phil.”

“I know.”

“Did you really just do that?”

“I know, I know! Can we just forget it?”

“No we need to address this.” Dan looked at Phil with as much severity as he could muster. “How in the world did you die in Bullet Form?”

“It's Mushroom Gorge! It's not my fault that a Bullet item won't save you from mid fall in a mushroom abyss.”

Dan broke out into a fit of giggles. “Don't blame it on the area, Phil. I didn't even know that was possible.”

Dan had been extremely apprehensive about coming here. By that he meant, he had drafted many lame text excuses not to come and, after not sending those, Phil caught him like a deer in the headlights trying to get away having only knocked on the door once. That had been both embarrassing and awkward and Dan cringed just thinking about it.

Despite that, Phil had excitedly invited him in to where he was now happily sat on the couch winning at Mario Kart. Not that he'd been extremely comfortable there until he relaxed into the game. It didn't hurt that he could easily tease Phil in said game. Phil should've seen it coming since he had so confidently declared that Dan should prepare to lose only to be beat in every round. 

Though it was a bit mean of Dan to pick four rounds at Rainbow Road—A.K.A. the hardest road with no barriers to keep them from falling into space. He thought Mushroom Gorge would be easier in comparison to that. Looking at Phil's pouting face, he could see he was wrong. 

Snapping out of it, Phil looked back to Dan. “Would you like any snacks?” 

He was already getting up to retrieve some. Dan didn't know the etiquette in these situations and responded in the safest way he knew. 

“I'll just have whatever you're having.”

A moment later they both had their own bag of jumbo marshmallows and a cup of ribena.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but that wasn't it. 

He looked to Phil for answers as to why he had two bags of marshmallows and why that was the snack he got for them. Phil, however, stared at him as if daring him to ask. 

_I can't_ **_not_** _ask._

“Phil?”

“Yes?”

“Why?”

Finally Phil acknowledged the absurdity of what he'd just done with a laugh. Dan struggled not to grin like a loon in response to Phil’s eyes crinkling with amusement.

“I was going to do a random cooking video but decided not to. So now I have extra marshmallows here,” he explained. 

Dan didn't like the sudden reminder that Phil was in fact AmazingPhil and did all sorts of things on YouTube. He did like that the man in front of him was quirky enough to bring out a bag of jumbo marshmallows. 

It was oddly endearing. 

_Not the point, Howell. Focus here,_ Dan chastised himself before remembering he had to come up with a response. 

“What happened to doing the cooking video?”

_Great. Why don't I bring up the one topic I was uncomfortable with._

“It seemed kind of boring to do it alone. I was going to do it with another YouTuber, but that fell through.” Phil didn't seem too upset about the matter. 

“So you decided to eat away all of the ingredients?”

“Exactly!” Phil replied with a smile. “Hey, I’d been meaning to ask you something.”

Dan took that as his que to give Phil his undivided attention and put down his marshmallow. 

Phil continued, “Do you listen to D.H. The Piano Man?”

Dan stiffened. That was not the question he was expecting. 

_Should I lie?_

Dan made a quick mental list. 

Pros of lying:  
He can drop the subject entirely  
He can feign naivety  
Cons of lying:  
Phil was persistent and would probably not let them drop the subject  
He actually knows every detail of the pianist (being that it was himself) and he could slip up  
He sucks at lying

Either way, Dan wasn't about to mention that he was actually the YouTuber pianist in question. Making his decision, Dan reluctantly replied, “Yes, I've listened to him before.”

If it weren't for the fact that they were on a sensitive topic matter, Dan would've been proud of putting the absolute elation on Phil's face. 

“Yes! Finally someone who's listened to his music! All of my friends don't really care for that stuff and won't even give it a chance. Which they're totally missing out because you've heard his music; it's wonderful.”

Dan stared at him in slight awe. Had he really felt so strongly about Dan's music? He decided to test this theory. 

“You're really quite the fanboy Phil,” he gently prodded. 

Phil took the bait. “I'm D.H. The Piano Man trash number one.”

_Geez, he didn't even hesitate._

Dan couldn't help it. He had to engage Phil with the topic now. 

“What's your favorite song then?”

Phil lit up even more. “He did a cover of the Yuri!!! on Ice theme song recently. I practically died. And don't get me started on his originals.”

Dan was definitely going to regret this. 

“His originals?”

Phil moaned. “His originals are amazing. I wish he'd do more but, really, any song he sings is fantastic.”

Dan could practically feel heat radiating from his face. Had Phil actually moaned because of his singing? Given, a lot of vocal coaching had been put into that voice, but Phil's reaction was… unexpected. 

“What about you? What's your favorite?” Phil asked, startling Dan out of his stupor. 

Dan wasn't entirely sure how to answer this. Anything he could answer felt like bragging. Honestly, he'd say his originals because he put his heart in those, but he couldn't really tell that to Phil. Instead he went for a safer route. 

“I don't really have a favorite but I do prefer his classical mashups with modern music. It's something I like to do in sets sometimes too.”

Phil smiled warmly at that. 

Dan was starting to be glad he didn't lie about knowing his music. 

They continued a bit on that topic before subtly drifting into others. He told Phil of attending university for music after law didn't work out and in turn Phil spun tales of his own university stories. Every now and again, Dan got the feel that he retold some stories from his videos but Dan couldn't be sure. He would prefer to forget that aspect of Phil if that were an option. 

Before either of them realized it, it was getting quite late and the video game had been long forgotten. Not being near at all bold enough to take Phil's offer of staying the night, Dan had to make his way home. 

Before leaving, however, Phil stopped him. 

“You said you liked anime, right?” Dan nodded. “Would you like to come over next weekend? A sort of Netflix and chill ordeal.”

_…If I didn't know better, I'd say he's trying to flirt with me._

Dan just hoped Phil didn't see his blush as he responded with a small yes. 

Just as Dan reached the door to leave he looked back at Phil. 

“Hey Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“Um, bye.” Dan started leaving before Phil stopped him. 

“Hey Dan?”

Dan turned to see Phil's warm smile. 

“Yeah?” He only slightly hated the shyness in his voice. 

“Bye.”

Dan had a hard time trying to keep a smile off his face on the way home. In fact, he thinks he failed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! I changed the ending last minute and needed to make sure I liked it. I also posted a oneshot today. It is not at all like this story but if you ever want to read a sadder fic then check it out. I'd just read the tags before deciding to read it... As always, please leave all the comment and kudos to your hearts desires. Byyyyye


	22. Chapter 22

**Phil's POV**

Phil couldn't believe his luck as he once again welcomed Dan into his home. He had been coming over a lot more recently to play video games and hang out with Phil. Because he had never asked to come over, Phil always made sure to secure a next visit before Dan left. It had become the highlight of Phil's weekends. He never thought he'd make such a good friend, let alone such a cute one. 

_No,_ Phil thought to himself, _don't go ruining this friendship with your little crush._

He glanced over at Dan who was currently in browsing position. He seemed about to scroll down before promptly dropping his phone flat on his face. His features scrunched like a worm as he recoiled away. 

Did he say little crush? He meant major. 

Dan flailed about getting over the shock of the offending technology's attack. Then, as if sensing Phil's stare, Dan looked up to see him stifling giggles. 

“Like you've never dropped your phone on your face.” He bristled. 

“I have,” Phil consented full out laughing now. “Just not in a way that made me look like I was a flopping fish trying to get it off.”

“Shut up, I'm a beautiful fish!” Dan responded indignantly. 

Phil decided not to respond to that in fear that he'd say exactly what was on his mind. Which was, yes Dan, you are a beautiful fish. That wouldn't bode over well. 

Phil actually did have a game in mind for the day. He just wasn't sure how to approach it. 

“Hey Dan?” Phil called, as innocently as he could. 

Automatically it seemed as if the younger caught that Phil was going to say something disagreeable. “What is it Phil?” Suspicion laced his voice. 

“I was wondering if you'd play a game with me.” Maybe he'd agree without asking which game he meant. 

“Depends. What game?”

No such luck. 

“‘Just Dance’” He peeked at Dan trying to gage his reaction. 

Dan’s eyes bugged out. “Why in the world should we play that?”

“Please! It'll be like a celebration or something.” Really Phil just thought it'd be fun and who wouldn't want to see a man who drops a phone on their face dance?

Dan responded without missing a beat. “Celebration of what? Us looking like idiots in front of a Wii? You realize there's no holidays going on.”

“Of my birthday?” Phil said weakly. 

“Nice try. I looked that up around the third time I came here. It is not your birthday.” Dan deadpanned. 

Dang. But.. Dan looked up when his birthday was? He was definitely the cutest entity in the world. 

“Fine, you win. No ‘Just Dance’.” Phil pouted. Perhaps that wasn't the most mature of actions but he really wanted to have an awkward dance off with his friend. 

Dan noticed his mood change. “Ugh, I hate you. Let's do it.”

Phil's eyes lit up with hope. “Really?”

“Really.”

And that's how they ended up dancing to "Toxic" after Dan's lengthy explanation on how to sing it. 

And no, Phil could not sing it… _sensually._

He couldn't bring himself to think of how Dan sang it. 

“YES!” Dan yelled as the bonus points brought him to a slightly better score than Phil. 

“What? No!” Phil didn't care too much but couldn't help but feel a little slighted. 

“Oh yeah!” Now Phil didn't care at all as he watched Dan energetically celebrating his win. 

Dan was very… competitive. In fact, that gave him an idea. 

“Hey Dan, I have a proposition for you.”

Dan giggled still excited from his victory. “Proposition away, good sir.”

“Would you like to come on my channel at some point? It wouldn't have to be a huge deal. We'd just introduce you and maybe play some video games? Maybe not 'Just Dance' though.”

Dan’s face dropped and Phil immediately regretted asking. Before he could backtrack, Dan was already replying, “I— no. That's not really my thing Phil. I love hanging out with you and all of this really, but being on your channel is too much. It scares me too much. I can't.”

Dan looked entirely too vulnerable in that moment for Phil's liking. He had to put an end to that. 

“No problem. Guess the world won't know of your superior gaming skills than mine. I can live with that.” Dan awarded him with a weak relieved smile. Phil thought he could achieve more than that so he continued. 

“So what's this about loving to hang out with me? I mean, back at you Howell, but warn a guy first. I thought I'd at least have to of hung out at yours before winning that kind of praise.” Phil knew he was laying the teasing on hard but it was worth the blushing dimples that appeared on Dan's face. 

“Shut up, you spoon! If it's that big of a worry than we can go to mine next weekend.” 

Phil perked up looking hopefully at Dan. “Really? I can go over to yours next weekend?”

Dan's eyes softened and Phil nearly melted at the sight. “Yeah, you really can.”

 

**Dan’s POV**

Dan was beginning to think he should reconsider what the _hell_ was going on with reality. He had no clue how he had gotten to this point in life. 

After he first invited Phil to his home, the two had gotten into a routine of visiting one another. And Dan had no idea how that became his reality. Teenage Dan would be crying his fangirl eyes out but current Dan was baffled. The AmazingPhil who had outright rejected Dan was nothing like the Phil Lester who he had played “Just Dance” with him a couple of weekends ago. They had essentially became friends. Good ones, at that. Dan couldn't believe it. 

Somehow, this had led to their current situation of Dan sprawled on Phil's couch with them both browsing the internet. Something Dan could've been doing at home alone but gotten into the habit of doing so at Phil's during one of their lazy morning days. 

“D.H. hasn't posted recently,” Phil stated across the couch by Dan's feet. 

“Okaaay?” Dan drew out the word hoping for Phil to elaborate. He never really liked talking to Phil about his still-secret persona. He knew he should tell Phil but he wasn't sure if he trusted him that much yet. Nevertheless, it seemed as if something about his YouTube channel was troubling Phil. 

“I think he hates me.” Phil said solemnly. 

_What?_

“What? Why on the world would you think that?” Dan though Phil was about to express concern of his YouTube absence, not declare his hatred of Phil. Which was absolutely not the case. 

“Well it's just that I had posted something a while back about him. I think it made him uncomfortable and now he hates me.” 

Dan had almost forgotten about that. In hindsight it made him extremely uncomfortable when Phil had sent out that tweet asking if he was the same D.H. as his mystery lion returner. Dan was more shocked that Phil remembered that. It seemed like such a long time ago. 

“I'm sure he gets thousands of tweets, Phil. And most of those are probably much more discomforting than whatever you put. Don't worry about it.” Dan thought that would satisfy Phil. He was wrong. 

“No, you don't understand. It sounded so suggestive. I literally asked if he was my ‘Mystery Man’. Who does that?” Phil had pulled up the original tweet refreshing Dan on both of their past mortification. 

The Tweet, reading, “‘I searched the initials D.H. Anyone think D.H. The Piano Man is my Mystery Man???’” blared at him from the scene. Dan winced, seeing some truth in Phil's words. 

“Your ‘Mystery Man’?” Dan remembered to feign naivety on his videos pertaining about himself. 

“Yeah, separate story. I got a gift from a person with the initials D.H. Not the point though.”

Dan raised his eyebrow at the rushed explanation but given the risky territory, let it go. Instead, he tried to calm Phil. “It's not that bad. It probably wasn't even a blip on his radar.”

Phil looked at him incredulously. “Dan, he saw it. Not to be self-centered but I don't just have one or two subscribes. I had a whole fan base retweeting me with his name tagged. He definitely saw it.”

Of course Phil was right. It was obvious Dan would've seen it but Dan didn't realize it was obvious. Blushing, he scrambled to respond. “Okay. So he saw it. It's mildly embarrassing, sure, but that doesn't mean he hates you.”

“No, the fact that he completely ignored me after means he hates me.”

_No, it really doesn't. Trust me._

“Or it could mean that he didn't know how to respond.” Dan was desperate to change the subject before Phil could somehow piece together that he was the same person as the other two men in this conversation. 

“I wouldn't know how to respond to a creep either.”

Suddenly, an idea lit in Dan’s head. A stupid dangerous idea, but one sure to cheer Phil up. 

“Alright so you said he hasn't posted in a while. How about you make a song suggestion? He takes those all the time and if he takes yours, you know he's not mad right?”

Phil looked to be contemplating it. “I don't know…”

“Come on, what have you got to lose?”

_Why I pushing this?_

“Things don't work out that way, Dan.”

_Oh? Doth he challenge me?_

Dan smiled mischievously. “Want to make it a bet then?”

It was like a switch went of in Phil's head as he now looked just as invested in the idea of a bet. “Depends if you are prepared to lose a bet, Daniel.”

The full name is out. It just got real. “Well, _Philip,_ I propose that if I win, I get to choose a challenge for your next video.” Oh the possibilities. It only seemed fair because Phil was now picking his next video. He continued, “And if you win, I’ll get you food for a week.”

“As in you'll bring me or buy me all of my meals? For a week?” Phil seemed to be considering this. 

“Yep.”

“Deal.”

_Best bet ever._

“I'm going to ask him to do ‘Toxic.’”

… 

“What?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, I really liked writing this chapter. Hopefully you liked reading it and if you did, let me know. Just a note, I had to edit this with my dog resting his head on my arm. That's completely irrelevant but an essential imagery that everyone should have.
> 
> Byyyye


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourselves.

**Dan's POV**

Dan was definitely going to make Phil regret choosing a Britney Spears song. Normally Dan wouldn't feel so hostile about a song request but really? _"Toxic"_? Not that Dan had anything against the song. Really after hearing Phil fail at singing it, he thought the song was brilliant. However, now after weeks of trying to creatively match the song to his channels aesthetics and compose the piece altogether, Dan slightly hated the song. 

Dan couldn't wait to see Phil's face when he uploaded the new video. Which was coincidentally what he was doing at that very moment. 

Perhaps it was a risky idea, but Dan decided to upload the video while sitting across from Phil in Dan's living area. He sat criss crossed on the chair with Phil comfortably sat on the couch that he first slept on the day they had met. He doubted Phil could catch a glimpse of his laptop unless he got up without Dan noticing. 

Still he anxiously waited for the video to finish uploading and just as it hit 100%, Phil's phone dinged across the room. 

“He uploaded!”

_Does he get notifications of me?_

Dan quickly exited his tabs before making his way over to Phil. 

“Okay moment of truth, decider of bets, this is it Phil.” Dan tried to sound as theatrical as possible but Phil was to busy reveling in excitement to pay him any mind. 

“Come on! Sit down so we can watch.” 

_Jeez, people are so hard to please these days._

Dan complied and almost felt bad when Phil's face fell at the sound of classical music emitting from the computer. 

“See? Not ‘Toxic.’”

_In all fairness, you did chose ‘Toxic’,_ Dan thought. But Dan waited for the moment patiently knowing that Phil forgot to read the video’s title.

All of the sudden the music got staticky before a clear recording of a females voice came on. 

“It's Britney Bitch.”

Phil’s eyes got wide as the video continued to play Dan's cover of the song. Dan paid no attention to this as he watched the other man _freak out._

“He did it! He actually did it! And oh my god did he actually do that?” Phil was absolutely glowing and Dan could not be prouder of himself because, _yes,_ he actually did that. 

They let the song play to the end with Phil joyfully danced along and Dan barely maintaining his own laughter. Then when the song inevitably ended as the end screen appeared with a screenshot of Phil’s initial request with the words “Thanks for the challenge” written under it. 

Dan wanted his win of the bet to be clear, okay? It had absolutely nothing to do with the little squeal of delight upon seeing his post displayed on the screen. 

“Did you—is this– oh my goo—” Phil struggled to form his words. 

“You alright there?” Dan asked with happiness dancing in his eyes. 

“DON’T HATE THE PIANO MAN— D.H. **_THE_** PIANO MAN– played my request! I am not okay.”

Dan cringed at the sudden volume. He thinks he may of broken Phil. That was… unintended. Not that Dan was complaining. 

He, however, did have to break Phil out of his high eventually. 

“Yep, do you know what that means?” 

Phil looked at Dan, only slightly less frazzled. “What?”

“You have to do a video of my choice.” Dan smirked evilly. He knew exactly what he was going to have Phil do. 

The YouTuber was definitely going to regret his song choice. 

**Phil's POV**

“Do I really have to do this?”

“He did a Britney Spears song for you. Yes you have to do this. Fair is fair”

As Phil was now standing in his cheese costume, Phil was beginning to contemplate if the bet was worth it. He also wanted to know how Dan found out about said outfit and voiced this exact concern. 

Dan looked at him a bit sheepishly. “I may of been a bit excited about the prospect of choosing your video and did some research.”

“What in the world do you research to find out about the cheese costume?”

“‘AmazingPhil Cringe Compilation’”

Phil didn't know how to respond to that.

“Ok fine but do I really have to—” Phil didn't want to say it. 

“Do you really have to do what, Phil?” Dan was smiling devilishly. He knew exactly what he was doing. 

Phil had no choice but to play into his game. “Do I really have to do yoga poses in the cheese costume?”

“A bet’s a bet. Besides, you've already got it on. You might as well finish.”

Looking at him, Phil could tell he wasn't going to change his mind. If nothing else, Dan's idea was certainly creative. 

“Fine, but you are staying on the side while filming. The world should at least know this wasn't my idea.”

Dan snorted. “You say that like I wasn't going to stay and watch a piece of cheese do yoga. Just don't mention my name and that's fine.”

_He's evil. I have a crush on an evil, evil man._

“Let's just do this.”

Phil decided to make this video more relaxed than the others. He didn't make a strict script and his only set dialogue was for explaining how he had ended up in this situation. 

“You ready?” Dan nodded letting Phil know he would be quiet. Phil clicked record. 

“Hey guys! So as you may be able to tell, I'm in the cheese costume. The reason why is quite regrettable. I lost a bet to a certain rat that shall remain nameless.”

“Hey!” Dan apparently couldn't help himself from responding to Phil's light teasing. 

“That'd be the rat speaking.” Phil decided light banter would be acceptable in this kind of video. “Anyway, as the winner, he got to decide what my next video would be. And drumroll please.” 

Unexpectedly Dan started a mini drumroll patting his knees. Phil threw him a smile. He'd never seen the younger so excited. 

“He picked Cheese Yoga! And no, I had no idea what he meant by ‘cheese yoga’ at first. I was terrified that he was going to make me eat cheese while in a human pretzel form.” 

Phil shudder before hearing Dan again. “Shit, I should've thought of that.”

_Wha—no. No one should've ever conceived Cheese Yoga of any kind!_

Instead Phil voiced the other thing on his mind. “No cursing on my channel! Plus you're supposed to be quieter.” 

Finally Dan had the decency to show a hint of shame as he looked guiltily to his hands. “Sorry.”

Phil smiled to let Dan know he wasn't serious in his chastising and then looked back to the camera. 

“So for everyone curious as to what this is, I'll explain. Basically I look up yoga poses, find one that looks sort of possible for me to do and replicate it in my cheese costume.”

Phil couldn't believe that he was actually doing this. What did the world have against him?

“Ok so I guess let's start.” 

With his face flaming and a giggling man watching, Phil contorted into his first yoga pose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it? Sorry it took me so long to update. I've been distracted but I hope this chapter makes up for it ^_^


	24. Chapter 24

**Dan's POV**

“Stop laughing!” Phil whined as Dan started giggling even more. “It's not that funny.”

“Oh come on, Phil. This is literally the best video on the internet. I'm pretty sure it's got the most views on your channel.”

Dan was rewatching the yoga video for what seemed like the hundredth time. It wasn't really the most viewed video on his channel but it was certainly up there. The screen continued to play. 

_“That's not a triangle Phil… still no… oh that's a_ ** _triangle._** ” Dan voice sounded from the side, seemingly to suggest that triangles were now the sexiest shape to contort into. 

_“Shut up! I'd like to see you bend like this.”_

_“You'd have to win a bet first.”_

From his position on the ground, Phil sent up a glare to Dan off camera. It was hard to take seriously as Phil was still trying to maintain the yoga pose. 

He gave up on it. 

_“Ok let's do a different one.”_

_“Can I chose this one?”_ The eagerness in Dan's voice should've frightened Phil away. Miraculously, it didn't. 

_“Only one. Okay?”_

There's a pause before Dan's arm comes into shot holding his phone. 

_“This one.”_

For whatever reason Phil didn't edit out the clip where horror came over his face before he inevitably agreed. 

_“If I die doing this it's your fault.”_

Phil started to stand on one foot before attempting to pull his other foot to his head. 

That's when real life Phil shut Dan's laptop. 

“Hey! It was just getting to my favorite part.” 

“You do not need to see me fall into the camera again.”

Dan pouted. He knew Phil was right but there was something about seeing Phil flail in a cheese costume that was satisfying. It was something about the way he looked like a cheese Godzilla attacking a camera that made him happy. Not to mention when the camera got its revenge and fell on Phil when he tumble to the ground.

Dan needs to stop reminiscing. 

All and all the video was a great success. Dan was also surprised that the attention he got for being “the godsent rat” didn't freak him out. He didn't prefer the nickname but all of the viewers were thanking him for making Phil do the video. They were still wondering who he was but he was prepared for that this time. Anything they said would just be theories. Dan felt like he was improving with his anxiety. 

Oh that was another thing—he had told Phil some about his social anxiety. He had somehow skid around the fact that Phil was a major cause of that, but he felt a lot better telling him some of the truth. He'd started to feel guilty about the amount of secrets he kept from the other man. It wasn't like he could just blurt out that not only was he Phil's internet idol but also that Phil used to be his idol before he got called out as stalkerish. That was not a conversation he'd ever be ready for. 

He still spent a leisurely day at Phil's with no complaints. Every now and again Phil would read out a particularly funny rat comment from Twitter and Dan would rebuttal him with an AmazingCheese (a wonderful nickname for Phil in the cheese costume) comment. If Dan were completely honest, he had a folder full of AmazingCheese memes saved on his computer. He wasn't ashamed. 

As the time got later he decided that he should probably head home. He wasn't about to start inviting himself to spend the night when he was already taking so much of Phil's time anyway. Phil let him go with ease as they both knew he would be back soon enough. 

Dan had made his way back home only to realize that he left his phone at Phil's. Yep that was just the inconvenience he needed. 

Dan felt comfortable going to Phil's nowadays. That wasn't a problem. He just hates showing up unannounced. Which is exactly what happened the next evening when he was knocking on Phil's door. 

He didn't answer. 

“Phil?” He called. Maybe he just didn't like answering the door to strangers and didn't know it was Dan. 

Dan paused listening for any movement on the flat. He realized the problem. Phil was talking loudly on the phone and couldn't hear him. 

He tried knocking again but there was still no reply. Dan didn't know what to do. 

_Goddammit! I just want my phone._

After a bit of hesitation, Dan decided he could just open the door. It wasn't his brightest idea but he wanted his phone back and decided Phil was incapable of hurting anyone even if they seemed like an intruder. 

He called Phil's name as he opened the door to be safe. There was still no response. 

_You'd think the spoon would hear me by now._

Dan went to where he left the phone figuring he could just grab it and slip out. He needed to talk to Phil about his home security. After rustling about the couch, the side tables, and even the kitchen counters, Dan realizes he can’t spot his phone. Unwilling to give up just yet, Dan searched for a few more minutes. Soon he realized he had no choice but to approach Phil when he couldn't find it. 

He followed the sound of his voice to Phil's room and knocked on Phil's bedroom door and winced. 

_He probably thinks I'm a murderer. Why did I think walking into his house was a good idea?_

Surprisingly Phil responded. Unsurprisingly his voice sounded terrified at the prospect of a stranger being in his house. 

“Hello? Who's there?”

_I'm an idiot._

Dan quickly responded, “Jeeze sorry Phil, it's me. I just didn't think this throu–” Dan froze as he opened the bedroom door. Phil wasn't on his phone. He was doing a video. 

A _livestream_ video. 

He instantly forgot about his phone. He takes it back. He was not improving with his anxiety. 

**Phil's POV**

Shortly after Dan had left the night before, Phil had noticed that the younger had left his phone. At that point he knew he was going to be seeing Dan a lot sooner than expected. The man could not last long without the device. 

What he didn't expect was to get a knock at his _bedroom_ door in the middle of a live show. 

This was it, he was going to die. And a million people were going to see it. 

“Hello? Who's there?”

_Why did I answer the killer? What's wrong with me?_

“Jeeze sorry Phil, it's me.” Phil could not even begin to describe his relief at hearing Dan's voice. He continued speaking as he opened the door. “I just didn't think this throu–” 

Phil looked to see Dan trembling as terrified as he just was moment earlier. Phil suddenly realized the problem. Before he could do anything, Dan bolted out of the room. 

Quickly he turned to address the camera. “Sorry guys! Now that I know I'm not going to be murdered, I gotta go.” He quickly closed the livestream, shut the laptop, and went to find Dan. 

_Please be okay._

He’d search the city if he had to. He just wanted to make sure Dan was okay. 

Dan wasn't okay. Phil stumbled upon the shaking figure curled up against the wall in one of his hallways. His eyes were shut tight with his hands over his ears. 

Carefully Phil approached. 

“Dan? Danny?” He spoke softly. 

Dan's eyes shot open, already reddening from tears. 

“Talk to me Dan.” The request was laid gentle. A way to coax Dan but not push him. 

“I-I I'm an idiot. I just went in there and ruined everything.” 

“Dan, you didn't ruin everything. My fans just know we spend time together, that's all.” Phil kept his tone comforting but something must of triggered Dan. 

“No! Don't you get it Phil? I don't want them to know that! I don't want them to know me. And I don't want to get hurt when they think I'm a creepy useless stalker who somehow befriended you.” 

Phil had no idea where this was coming from. Dan was none of those awful things. 

“No they won't. Who called you that?”

With watery brown eyes, Dan looked straight at Phil. 

“You did.” His voice was barely a whisper. 

Phil’s mind blanked, a white, buzzing noise filling his ears. “What?”

Dan was now looking everywhere but at Phil. “You did. When I was 18. I kept sending you messages and stuff and you said it. You thought I was a stalker and asked me to stop.” Dan looked to the ground. “I did stop. I really did.”

Phil's heart broke. 

He knew exactly what Dan was talking about and has never felt worse than right now. 

Before he knew what Charlie was really like—before he knew how awful people could be— he clung onto every suggestion the man made. And when he was younger a certain follower had really grabbed his attention: danisnotonfire. Phil wasn't particularly upset by this. He found it flattering. At least until he brought it up to Charlie. That was what created one of Phil's worse regrets. Charlie had told Phil that the kid was creepy. That no one paid that much attention to you without wanting something and did Phil really think the follows wanted to befriend him for his personality? Who would do that. 

So Phil had sent the message. And has regretted it ever since. He had tried to find the kid again and apologize but found that danisnotonfire deleted all of his social media. 

And now Phil was seated in front of the product of his own destruction. 

He hated himself for doing this. 

“Dan, I never meant that. Please believe me.” Phil was desperate for him to understand. “I was around the wrong people at the time and they made that seem like what I should do. That's not an excuse but I know the message you're talking about and that's not me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell them no, that I went along with them just because I thought they were my friends. Even at the time I never believed those things. Please, give me a chance to prove it to you.” 

Phil paused hoping for any sign of hope. A sign that Phil could have a chance to make it up to Dan. 

Dan on his part looked deep in thought. His eyes were digging into Phil searching for something. Phil didn't know what. 

“I believe you.”

“What?” Phil's shock was evident. He was hoping for a mere chance. This seemed too easy. 

A ghost of a smile appeared on Dan's face but sadness still overtook his eyes. “I mean, I wouldn't have when I first met you but I have gotten to know you. Just a little.”

Phil gave a weak chuckle at that before Dan continued. “I think we really need to talk though. I don't think you realize how much that screwed me up and I don't think I fully understand why you did that.”

“Of course. We’ll talk.” Phil studied the boy's face. He looked exhausted. “First though, you should stay the night.” 

Dan's head snapped up with furrowed brows firmly in place. 

“You look like you'll pass out on the street and we can't have that. I'll take the couch and we'll talk in the morning.”

Dan looked like he was going to argue but thought better of it and followed Phil as he led them back to his room. 

Phil couldn't wait for morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wazzup world? We all good goobers? 
> 
> I kind of want to explain something about why I take so long to post sometimes. I literally just won't post till I'm a chapter or two ahead. At first this was sort of a contingency plan but now it's more like a quality plan. I like to make sure the chapters are going to flow together well and that I won't write a new chap and see that it contradicts the previous one that has now been read by everyone.  
> This is my super long winded way of apologizing if I take a while but also letting you know I've still got this going and have no plans to stop (well or at least stop before it's completed... I promise I won't just continue this story till I'm 101 and can't find my teeth).
> 
> Topic change; how's everyone liking the story? I'm always happy to answer any questions or just talk to you guys so please leave a comment and I'll reply.


	25. Chapter 25

**Dan's POV**

Logically Dan knew he shouldn't do this. He knew it was a bad idea and Phil could get mad. 

Realistically, Dan had to do something. Opportunities don't come around all of the time and this was a perfect chance. Plus Phil probably won't get mad. 

That's how Dan found himself sat criss cross in the middle of the floor, staring up at Phil. He was debating on whether or not to mess with Phil in order to wake Phil up. 

Dan really wanted to mess with him. In all fairness, it had been a really stressful night and he couldn't think of a better was to start the morning. 

With that in mind, Dan carefully made his way back to Phil's room to find the man's mask of the queen. Dan couldn't figure out why Phil had that, but it certainly came in handy now. Making his way back to the living room he was relieved to find that Phil hadn't woken up yet. 

He placed the mask on before getting up close to Phil's face. 

_There's a 50/50 shot that I'm about to get punched…_

Bracing himself he went for it. 

“Boooooooop.” There it was. He has now booped Phil's nose. Sound effect and all with the queens mask on. 

What the fuck was his life?

Phil’s eyes flew open as his faces rapidly contorted from confusion to horror. 

“GYAAAH!” Phil backed up, burrowing himself farther into the couch in fear. 

But there was no punching. And for that reason Dan was safe to start laughing hysterically. 

Understanding dawned on Phil. “Why? What was the purpose of that?”

Dan had trouble collecting himself as he took off the mask. “I just, that was,” Dan wheezed before calming down. “That was brilliant.”

“I'm going to have nightmares about the queen now.” Phil glared but Dan couldn't take him seriously as he burst out into more laughter. 

Phil got up off the couch. He left to his room to get dressed for the day, but not before grumbling something about Dan being a fiend and that he should have his mask privileges revoked. Dan could live with that seeing as Phil didn't appear genuinely mad at him. 

Dan flopped down on the couch to wait for Phil. Beyond miracles he woke up earlier and had already gotten dressed into the clothing he'd worn the previous day. Not his favorite option, but who was to judge him for not planning on an overnight. The short freetime, however, meant he had time to dread today. He had to talk to Phil and that wasn't his favorite pastime. Actually, scratch that, talking to Phil was his favorite pastime, but he didn't prefer touché topics. Like, for example, why Dan had a breakdown yesterday. That was a tad touché. 

Phil walked back into the room. “Okay, are we going to laze about like a couple of losers or do you want to go to Starbucks or something.”

Dan grinned fully aware that they normally were what Phil just described as “losers” but thought the change of scene might be nice. 

“Alright Lester, lets go to Starbucks and be a couple of losers there,” Dan challenged. 

“Sounds like a plan,” said Phil. “I could really use some coffee right now…” Dan followed as Phil started towards the door before Phil paused. “Did you grab your cell phone and wallet?”

_… Brutal._

Dan knew that Phil was just trying to be helpful and make sure he got everything before they left, but he could have done without the reminder of the night before. 

“I got my wallet and stuff, but uh, no, I never found my phone last night…”

Phil looked up innocently confused for a few moments. “Oh! That's why you were burglarizing my flat. I forgot.”

Dan felt like an ant. A tiny little embarrassed and ashamed ant. 

“...Yes, Phil. That is why I apparently lost all human reasoning and entered your home without permission.” Dan refused to meet Phil's eyes. 

“I had think I put it in my room. I realized you left it after you'd gone home the last time you were over. I’ll go get it real quick.”

Phil disappeared down the hall. 

_How does one apologize for breaking and entering? Do they get a card? Grovel? Agree to a restraining order? Technically there was only entering and no breaking, so surely a restraining order won't be necessary… right? Maybe I shouldn't have scared him in the queen mask the morning after…_

Phil broke his spiraling with his phone in hand. 

“Uh Phil, before we go. I'm… very sorry about the whole ‘oh god is there a murderer in my house’ thing. I made some really poor decisions last night.”

Phil, because he genuinely was an angel, just smiled. “It's fine, but I expect you to let me break into your flat at least once now.”

That sounded fair. Dan could live with that. He said as much and smiled when Phil laughed.

Dan trailed after Phil as they finally made their way to Starbucks. It wasn't before long that they were both seated at a booth with their own drinks. Dan was more than happy to let an awkward silence set in if it meant avoiding talking about last night. 

Phil had other ideas. “So, what do you want to know?”

“Want to know?”

Phil looked sad and maybe … insecure. Yeah, Dan was pretty sure that was insecurity scrawled across Phil’s face. “About my message to you.”

That's right. Dan had mention that he didn't get why Phil had sent it. He didn't mention how much it had hurt him, but for whatever reason he thought that he'd be put on the spot first and not Phil. 

“Okay, we’re not beating around the bushes at all today, are we?” Dan replied to a sheepish looking Phil. “Alright, so you said that you sent it because others told you to?” Phil nodded. “And that you didn't mean it?”

“I could never mean it.”

“I don't get it.” Phil rightfully looked confused so Dan explained. “If you didn't mean it, then why did you write it? I mean Phil, you politely told me to fuck off. One doesn't accidentally do that.”

Phil winced. “No, I suppose one doesn't do that. I, and look I really don't mean this as an excuse, but I thought I had to say those things. I had only one friend at the time and I felt that if I didn't respond to things the way he wanted to, that he'd leave me.”

“What a dick.” Dan grumbled. 

“Yeah he is,” Phil chuckled a bit bitterly. “Anyway, I mentioned your comments and stuff to him and he suggested it was weird. I'm the idiot who went along with it. I tried to find your social media the next day to apologize, but it's like you disappeared.”

Dan had disappeared. He had seen no point of social media after that. 

“But wait. Why in the world did you bring it up to this person?”

As soon as he asked it Dan realized that it was probably because he had creeped Phil out. So before Phil could answer Dan interrupted. 

“Actually, I don't want to know. Don't tell me.”

Phil scrambled to respond as if to ease Dan's insecurity. “It's not bad! I just noticed you. You'd left a lot of comments and it was curious.”

_It was creepy._

“And I was flattered.” Phil continued. 

_No you weren't. You couldn't have been._

“But Charlie made sure that I was aware that no one would like me for me and I should tell you to go away. He always made sure I felt worthless, I guess.”

“Hold up. _What?_ What did this douchebag prick of a prat say?” Dan was furious. Why would someone tell Phil that? Why would someone make Phil feel worthless? There was also something else bugging Dan about that statement. He couldn't put his finger on it. He had said _Charlie_ made sure. Who was Charlie?

Phil didn't seem nearly as mad as he should right now. In fact, he seemed amused. 

“Prick of a prat?” He asked lightly. 

Dan glared. “Not the point. And why does his name sound so familiar?”

Phil started to look sheepish. “So remember drunk guy?”

Dan did remember and _oh no._

“You're kidding.” Dan was so done. 

“Yeah, we kind of have a history but I think it was just dumb luck that he harassed someone I care about.”

“That guy? That guy was your friend?” Dan needed to clarify. 

Phil winced before answering distastefully, “Yeah. That guy. He seemed … uh, much nicer when he was my friend. It wasn’t until later that he was, you know.”

“I stand by my ‘prick of a prat’ statement,” Dan replied, completely serious. “And, I’m about as intimidating as a butterfly, but I can and will fight him.” Dan definitely would. He might get a black eye, but he would. 

“No you won't. If you can't handle him drunk, don't fight him sober.”

“You little shit. See if I defend your honor next time some idiot tries to ruin your YouTube career.” 

The more Dan thought about it, the more he realized how much that man messed with their lives. Seeing Phil wince at his statement, Dan decided to continue, “You know that what he said was not true though, don't you?”

Phil weakly smiled. “I do now. Just like you should know what I said wasn't true.”

Phil said that but somehow it felt different. Phil a person of boundless kindness who deserved the world, but instead got a piece of shit who lied to him. Dan on the other hand… well, Dan never felt like he deserved the world. He never felt like he was worth that much and the fact that Phil didn't like him at the time made sense. 

“That's not the same.” Dan fixed his gaze on the counter behind Phil. He could not look at him right now. 

“How so?”

“What you said was true. You had a good reason for it.”

“No, I didn't. I hate to push, but, Dan, could you please tell me what's going on. This obviously still hurts you and I want to help.” Phil looked at him earnestly and Dan...

Well, Dan didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to tell him how pathetic he used to be and still feels sometimes. He also felt like he should. He should tell Phil what happened. They were friends, right? Friends tell each other stuff, like when one has hurt the other.

“I probably won't tell you _everything_ everything,” Dan tested. 

“That's fine. Just tell me everything that _you_ want to tell.”

Dan could do that. But first he felt too restless to sit in a coffee shop and pour his heart out. “Can we maybe go outside or something?”

“Let's go on a walk then.” Phil nodded in agreement. They were silent as they stood up and cleaned up their booth, throwing their trash away.

Once a couple minutes into their walk, Dan started. Or at least he tried to start. 

**Phil's POV**

Phil waited in anticipation for Dan to start. He wanted to know what was troubling the younger man so he had high hopes when Dan opened his mouth to speak. 

“I don't want to,” he whined. 

That… had not been what Phil was hoping for as an explanation. It also wasn't an explanation. 

“I know, I know. We are officially bffs forever and whatever, whatever, whatever,” Dan continued sarcastically. Phil would secretly hold him to the friend comment though. 

_Unless we become boyfriends…_

“I'm sensing there's a ‘but’ somewhere in this statement,” Phil prompted Dan. 

Dan winked suggestively. “Yeah there is.” Obviously Dan had changed his meaning to ‘butt’ instead. Phil rolled his own eyes. “Okay, seriously though there is. It's just that my story is doom and gloom. Not a fun story to hear.” The calm lightness of Dan's voice spoke volumes. He could tell what Dan was doing. He was trying to keep himself together and trying to give Phil an out from listening to his pain. 

Phil was not about to take that out. 

“You wanted to tell me before and I still want to listen,” Phil said. 

Dan snipped back, “I was just in a really bad place Phil. Can we leave it at that?”

He was lashing out. Phil knew this. He knew that Dan wanted to tell him, but he could also see that he was afraid. For that reason, Phil pushed forward. 

“Nope,” Phil answered bluntly. “Now what do you mean ‘bad place’? Mentally or physically? Was it drugs? I never pictured you as a druggie, my dear Daniel.” Phil hoped his last statement would help lighten the mood at least a little. What he didn't expect was for Dan to wince. 

_Wait, he wasn't a druggie was he?_ Phil started questioning what he actually knew about Dan. Maybe the piano gigs he talked about was a coverup to distribute crack. Did people distribute crack? Phil didn't know but his theory was that Charlie was buying drugs from Dan at that one event. 

“Stop,” Dan interrupted Phil's thoughts. “I can tell you're coming up with crazy stories and before you even start, I was not a druggie.”

“So you distribute them! Do people distribute crack or just like pot or something?” Phil was perhaps too animated about this. 

“What? No. I never distributed—” Dan stopped himself mid sentence. “Why are we having this conversation? I never sold or did drugs Phil.”

On his part, Dan looked beyond done with Phil. On Phil's part, he was still confused. 

“Then why did you wince when I joked about you being a druggie?”

“Because I tried to kill myself with drugs!” Dan snapped at Phil. 

“What?” Phil could have heard him right. 

Dan shied away from his previous outburst looking quickly to his feet. “In college. I swallowed a bunch of pills and—” Dan started to choke up and wouldn't look at Phil. 

“Stop. Let's head back to your flat okay? Then we can continue,” Phil stated gently, because they were not having this conversation here. Not in public and not when Dan looks a second from crying. Phil refused. 

Dan nodded, “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm kind of nervous about the reception of this chapter so def leave a comment for me. Alrighty now, with that out of the way, how is everyone? Good I hope. Also, like, the cliffhanger there? Yeah... please don't kill me for doing that. You can imagine it if it makes you feel better but real life is a no-go. Also if you do imagine it, I'd be kind of amused. My profile pic is a plushie blobfish so it's an amusing imagery.  
> Ima stop rambling, love you guys, byyyyyye!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, this is the formal trigger warning of today's chapter. Suicide is kind of a theme here.... and I don't really know how to do trigger warnings. Should I make it stand out more? TRIGGER WARNING. Eh that'll do I guess.

**Phil's POV**  
Phil was worried. Maybe he was screwing this all up again. He could be pushing too hard or making Dan uncomfortable. Actually, he knew this was making Dan uncomfortable. Who would feel comfortable with their friend needling them about why they tried to kill themselves? 

This was all so messed up. 

It was messed up that his best friend used to feel like he wanted to die and that Phil had possibly contributed to that. He knew he could never apologize enough for his message to Dan, but he also knew Dan didn't want him to. He just couldn't figure out how to fix the sad look on Dan's face as they began settle into Dan's flat. He decided he needed to stop. He needed to give Dan an out and hope that Dan wasn't too mad about Phil needling him. 

“Hey, Dan.” Dan looked up to Phil. “I know I’m the one who keeps asking about what happened to you, but you don't feel forced to tell me, do you? It's really up to you and I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

At Phil's voice they both momentarily paused their shuffling. Phil could feel his anticipation racing in his heart. Dan stopped fiddling with his keys, set them on the counter, and gave Phil his full attention. 

Dan spoke softly, “No, Phil, you're not forcing me to do anything. I want to tell you, but I can't help but feel that you'll just blame yourself for everything.”

_Well he's not wrong._

“Well shouldn't I be blamed? Isn't it partially my fault?” Phil asked, dreading the answer. 

Dan looked panicked to respond. “No! No-no. Well, I mean _yes_ partially.” Phil was doomed. “But, —stop that— it’s only partially and definitely not the only thing that was going on at the time.”

Dan paused, waiting for Phil to respond. Phil didn't really know what to say just yet. “I don't understand. I don't get why you'd do that to yourself. And,” Phil paused to try and get his thoughts together. “I don't get why'd you even talk to me after what I did.”

Phil really didn't. Why would Dan talk to him when he'd done something like he did? Why would Dan not march up to him and angrily demand repentance? He didn't understand how he earned the second chance that he did. Most of all, he didn't understand why Dan would do something like that. Phil was just grateful it didn't work. Grateful that he didn't succeed at killing himself. 

“Ugh, hold up. To many words all at once. There is a reason, I promise, but I feel like I should start from the beginning,” Dan said. 

Phil felt a bit hopeful. He was going to finally find out what happened. “Really?”

“Yeah, really. But I need to tell you about all of the other shit first.” Dan started, guiding them to sit on the sofa. “So I told you about my anxiety right?”

Phil nodded. Dan had brought it up before on one of their adventures around the city. It wasn't often that they got off the sofa, so it was quite memorable to Phil. 

“Well, I also have depression,” Dan paused before making a self deprecating quip. “I know, all of this baggage and depression? You really won the friend lottery Phil.”

Phil actually did feel like he won the friend lottery though. He just didn't get why Dan didn't think that, but he didn't get a chance to say so because Dan quickly moved on. 

“Anyway, at the time I didn't really know that, so I didn't have any medication like I do now. I'd like to think that played a major part in my bad decisions.” 

Phil hoped that was the reason and nothing else bad had happened to Dan to make him feel like that. 

Dan continued, “I kind of don't think that was it though. I mean yes, it brought things to extremities I wouldn't normally go to, but I wasn't living a life I’d ever want to live.”

“What do you mean?” Phil asked

“I mean that I had nothing. No friends, no one to look up to, no future. I think before I figured that even if life was shit, at least I'd have you in some weird way. But then all of the sudden, I didn't and things only seemed to get worse,” Dan replied as Phil steadily felt worse himself. 

“Dan, I really—”

“Nope. No blame game. We’ll just go in circles. And it's not actually your fault. I shouldn't have relied so much on a person I had never met. Now that we know each other it'd make more sense, but it didn't back then.”

Phil silently relented to Dan. No matter what he said, Phil would still blame himself, but Phil saw Dan's point. They'd end up going in circles. 

“Fine. Continue telling me of how this isn't entirely my fault then.”

Okay, maybe Phil couldn't resist a tiny hint of how he still felt guilty. 

Dan sent him a mild glare. “I will. So a much bigger contributor to my sudden hopelessness than the one and only Phil Lester,” Dan put emphasis on Phil's name, “was actually the fact that I had just entered university.”

Huh. Kind of an anticlimactic way to end that sentence. Not a surprising one though. University definitely fit the bill for causing hopelessness. 

Dan seemed to take in Phil's reaction. “I know, shocker right? But yeah, I became completely isolated, following someone else's dreams and just in a constant worry that if I didn't do this then would my parents still care about me? People always say that your family will always love you, but no one ever tells you what to do if you think they might not accept you.” Dan looked down to the floor. 

Phil didn't know how to help because he didn't know how that felt. He'd never had to worry about if his family would ever start treating him differently. He never had to worry that they'd only be there for him because of their title of family. 

Instead of trying to come up with any words, Phil put his hand on top of Dan's. If he couldn't find the words, he'd at least find a some way to comfort him. Dan appeared to appreciate it, lifting his eyes again. 

“I– I just thought if I stopped doing what they wanted that maybe they’d stop seeing me as someone to be proud of. To be honest, I think at the time that may of been true.”

“That couldn't of been true. Didn't you say your mom is the one who always supports you?” Phil refuted immediately. He couldn't picture the mom that Dan spoke of so lovingly to be so heartless. 

Dan smiled. “Yes, she is now. Back then she was the one who set standards impossibly high.”

“Oh” Phil responded quietly. He didn't know that. 

Dan's gaze turned fond. “Yeah, oh,” he mimicked. 

“So that's everything that caused it?” Phil felt like he generally understood, but also felt he was missing some connections.

“I suppose, but not really? If it was just those things then I may of been— It was more—” Dan looked frustrated as he seemingly tried to put his thoughts into words. “Everything felt meaningless. Even the things I worried about felt meaningless. Like everything I did was because I had strings attached and all I actually felt was empty. I didn't like the life I lived and it— it was hollow. Eventually it got to the point where it didn't even matter to me. I was just so detached that I didn't even bother to feel anymore. I felt nothing. I was living or nothing. I _existed_ for nothing. So I thought why exist anymore? No one would care,” Dan let out a shuddering breath. 

Phil pulled him into his arms. The younger trembled slightly but quickly pulled away after returning the hug. 

“I want to get through this fast before I completely breakdown,” Dan explained his retreat from the hug. “With… those feelings in mind, I tried to… you know. And by chance, someone came to my dorm that day and now I'm here.”

“And things got better?”

“They did. My mom went to some therapy with me and we worked some things out. I started going to school for music which was honestly more intense than I thought, but I loved it. And things just got better. I was living how I wanted and it actually went okay.” 

“Thank goodness.” Phil said. Dan rolled his eyes playfully at the comment. “You still haven't told me why you gave me a chance though.”

“It's obvious,” Dan stated in a monotone voice. “I am the President of the Phil Lester Protection Squad. It is my duty—” 

Phil smacked him with a couch pillow. 

“IT IS MY DUTY, as the protector of—”

Phil aimed the pillow for Dan's head this time. Dan stood up on the couch playfully trying to evade Phil. 

“Protector of the smol bean Phil Lester” 

Dan was giggling between words as Phil continued the pillow assault. 

“To– oh my god,” Dan finally broke off. “Stop, it's hard to tease you when being victimized by a pillow.” 

“Good, then maybe you won't start making fun of your title!”

Dan faked a little gasp. “Never. In fact, I take it extremely seriously. Did you not just hear all of that, or were you just too busy hitting me with a pillow?”

“Pillow was definitely the priority,” Phil replied. “In fact, I think it's my new best friend.” 

Dan looked unimpressed. “Sure, see if the pillow will buy you Starbucks.”

“Don't be jealous of a pillow, Dan.”

“Fine. But the actual reason is that I talked to you out of chance. We were just kind of thrown together and by the time I could really question it, I had gotten to know you. Didn't see the point of ruining a good thing.”

Phil actually liked the sound of that. There was a sort of fate to it all and he wasn't about to ruin a good thing either. 

They both started to settle back down, Dan sat closely to Phil. It was nice. It was so nice that Phil hated that he'd have to break the moment. They still hadn't talked about something. 

“Hey, Dan?” Dan looked up to Phil from his spot. “This is the last thing, I promise, but you suggested last night that you were worried that my fans wouldn't like you and that maybe _I'd_ stop liking you perhaps?”

Dan started fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “I may of suggested that, yes.”

“Do you still think that?” Phil needed to know. 

Dan looked to be contemplating the idea for a moment. “Maybe not you… but I'm scared that if your fans think it, you'll change your mind? Like, they'll point out my flaws and you'll just realize you're friends with a loser. But you're stuck with me now. You can't get rid of me,” Dan ended with false bravado. 

“Stuck isn't quite the word I would use.” Phil teased. Though it was true. He would use much more complimentary words than stuck. 

“You say that now Lester, but you have yet to discover my biggest secret.”

“Oh?” Phil was curious now. “And what would that be?”

“Hmm. Not telling.” Dan said with a mischievous look in his eyes. 

Wait he _actually_ had another secret. Phil thought he was just playing around but he legitimately seemed to have one. 

“You're serious that you have another secret?”

“A huge one.”

He had to be playing this up. 

“And you're not going to tell me?”

Dan looked contemplative at this. “I will eventually, but you can't be mad when I do okay?”

Phil could tell Dan was up to something. “Fine. I won't be mad. I promise.”

“Good,” Dan said. “Now, did you want to do something? I'm not quite ready for you to go home yet and I've got some movies.”

Dan asked it as if there were any chance Phil would refuse. 

“Can I pick what we watch?”

“Sure,” Dan agreed easily, snuggling into Phil's side. 

Phil took a second to fangirl over snuggling with Dan. He couldn't think of that right now because he had an important decision to make. What movie to watch. And he knew what he had to do. 

It was time to get back at him for the cheese.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaay that's a wrap. Also, I have a sort of snippet chapter. It's not necessary to read which is why I didn't add it to the main story part but I'm going to put a link to it and such. It's just a tiny bit on their movie night. It's literally next on this not-really-series series now anyway but I don't know, maybee you like links so here it is. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16175612  
> Don't forget to leave feedback, it really helps and is part why this chapter isn't awful. Also huge thanks to thebooktrooper. After I kept re-writing this chapter they were kind enough to beta me for this final version. I asked them and gave so little notice beforehand so seriously, very appreciated. Definitely thank them for this chapter being posted today rather than later.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay before I forget, if you want to see the snippet of Phil annoying Dan, that's in the second thing of this collection thingy. It's super short and for my own enjoyment. Not really needed to understand anything.

**Phil's POV**

Dan looked up at Phil a bit pouty. “What are we going to do about the video thing?”

Phil looked towards Dan across the kitchen to Dan on the couch. After harassing Dan throughout all of the Jurassic movies, Dan had insisted that Phil A) never sing during movies again and B) stay over the night as “repayment” for him staying at Phil's. Phil didn't argue with him. That's how they ended up munching on some cereal and debating on what anime to watch next. The sudden reminder of the livestream took Phil off guard. To be perfectly honest Phil had almost forgotten about the video, but was a good question. 

“I'm not sure. It depends on what you want to do and how they reacted I suppose,” Phil replied earnestly. 

“Ugh. How _did_ they respond?” 

Phil almost wanted to laugh at how put out Dan looked at the prospect of hearing what his fans had to say. He probably would have laughed if he wasn't so worried himself. 

Phil quickly pulled out his phone to start checking and–

_Oh my…_

_This is fantastic._

Dan looked curiously at Phil, putting his spoon down. “How bad is it?” 

Phil walked back over to the couches and sat down before answering, “So the good news is that no one seems to of recognized you.” 

Dan didn't look satisfied. “And the bad news?” 

“They think I'm dead.” 

Dan blanched, “ _What?_ ” 

“Or some theorize that we had hardcore sex after I stopped the live feed…” Phil giggled as he continued. Dan looked like someone had told him a space monkey learned how to hula. 

“I give up. Hell, from here we could say just about anything to them about the video. I kidnapped and am holding you for ransom. I'm your flat’s ghost. Or who knows? Maybe you're a ghost now and I really did murder you. We could tell your fans that and it'd fit into their theories.” 

Dan was spiraling. Phil needed to stop this. 

“–or maybe there's an alien theory out there.” 

“Dan.” 

“I’d make an awesome alien.” 

“ _Dan._ ” 

“I could tell your fans that we need you for experiments.” 

“Dan!” 

“Why do they think you’re dead anyway?” He paused his rant for an answer. 

At least he stopped spiraling. “I don't know. I told them I wasn't going to be killed before I stopped the livestream but I also haven't been on social media since,” Phil shrugged. 

Dan stared at Phil a moment. “This isn't a normal conversation right? Like normal friends don't have to debate why a fanbase thinks they're dead. Please tell me this is purely just an ‘us’ thing.” 

Phil smiled. “Yes Dan, this is purely just an ‘us’ thing.” 

And Phil liked the sounds of that. Things that were just for the two of them. 

“Good,” Dan said almost relieved. “How's everyone taking your death though?” 

Phil laughed. “Pretty good. For whatever reason, you weren't seen too well by the camera so someone made a mugshot of a blurred figure of you.” 

Phil moved his phone to show Dan the picture he meant. It seemed that the camera only picked up Dan when he was running away. Before that, Phil had unknowingly blocked the frame. 

Dan's face dropped to his hands. “This is going to be my legacy. ‘The Blurry Murderer.’” 

“It's better that ‘The Furry Murderer’” Phil said trying to lighten the mood. 

It worked. Dan smacked his side lightly. “Shut up, you dork. Maybe this wouldn't have been a problem if you answered the door.” 

“Come to think of it, you were breaking and entering. Maybe I should give the mugshot to the police,” Phil mused, teasingly. 

Dan replied sarcastically, “Yeah, give them the mugshot. Maybe incarceration will stop my mad descent from your fandom.” “You love it.” 

“Pfft.” Dan rolled his eyes. “Okay sure.” 

Phil loved it. Not the whole traumatizing Dan thing, but he did love whatever he had with Dan. He loved how Dan bantered with him, how they could watch anime over the weekends, how he could fangirl with him, how they could literally do nothing together but it still felt better than anything in the world. Everything. He loved everything about Dan. 

“So,” Dan interrupted his thoughts nervously, “How are we going to tell them that you're not dead?” 

Phil thought about it. Technically Dan didn't have to do anything. No one had seen his face and Phil could say anything and people wouldn't know any better. Dan wouldn't have to get out of his comfort zone at all if he didn't want to. The problem was that Phil kind of wanted him to. 

Dan had become a staple part of his life and Phil wanted to show him off to the world. He wanted Dan to know that he he was proud to be his friend. But moreover he wanted Dan to be a part of that aspect of his life. He wanted Dan to see what he loved about making YouTube videos. Although, Dan already sort of knew what YouTube was like and didn't seem to enjoy it at all. 

Thinking about this he responded carefully, “Well, I could just make something up and they wouldn't have to know or…” he paused hoping Dan would be open to an alternative. “Or?” 

“Or maybe you could do some live shows with me. Come on to explain what happened and then if you're ok with it, make some occasional appearances on them? It doesn't have to be a huge production.” 

Phil knows he'll say no. He already said no to doing a video on his channel. He didn't know why he thought it should be different now. 

“Okay,” Dan replied shakily. 

_Oh my gosh, did he say okay?_ Phil looked up to Dan searchingly. Dan had a small nervous smile on his lips. 

“Did you say okay?” Phil's voice told of his amazement. 

Dan's smile grew. “Yes, I did. I want to. I mean if it's with you I think I can do it,” Dan said, mustering up some confidence. 

… 

_Marry me._

He was just so precious and Phil couldn't handle it. 

Phil kept those thoughts in, but couldn't hold back his excitement before replying, “Okay so we’ll do a video together. Yay!” 

Dan laughed. “Yeah, yay. You get me on your channel, congrats. Now how do we make it look like you're not my hostage to a fandom that thinks I murdered you?” 

Phil smiled. “Very carefully.” 

**Dan's POV**

Dan couldn't really believe he agreed to the video. Phil had wanted to though. It was so obvious how happy it would make the man and Dan is willing to face a few fears for that. 

Now it was time to do the video though. Dan felt lied to; this was a huge production. To him it was at least. 

He had been mentally preparing for this since they'd talk about it and Phil had mentioned something about queueing him into the livestream. It only occur to him part way through Phil's intro that he forgot what his queue was supposed to be. 

Why were they even doing a queue? Surely they could've just started together, right? Dan thinks that Phil said something about him addressing some of their questions before introducing thousands of more.

Dan should've argued more because now he had no idea what to do. 

“...Dan. Dan!” Phil called. Dan had no idea what he was saying before. 

“I'm sorry, what?” Dan asked feeling very lost. 

Phil looked amused. “I was just introducing you or did you forget this was happening.” 

“Oh, don't you start. You're the one who always wanders off when we're doing things.” Dan replied forgetting about the stream entirely. 

“Name one time.” Phil shot back not missing the opportunity for bants. 

“How about the other day on the way to the store and you got distracted by a flower?” Dan was on the winning side of this argument. Without a doubt. 

“It was pretty!” 

“It was a flower.” 

“Yeah, a pretty one. If I ever see one for sale, I'd add it to my house plants.” 

“Oh god. No, you don't need any more house plants.”

The last thing Phil needs is more house plants. 

“I think I do,” Dan was about to argue but Phil stopped him. “So Dan, would you like to say hello to the people.” 

Dan’s blood drained from his face. That's right, they were doing a livestream and that's why his palms had been so sweaty. Now that the conversation was no longer distracting him, the nerves were back.

“Uh, pass?” Dan asked smally. 

Phil looked at his laptop camera. “I told you he was a bit shy,” he said and then addressed Dan again, “It'll be fine. Remember you're basically the leader of my fandom.” 

Dan went red. Only he could joke about that. When Phil did, it was embarrassing. 

“If there's some kind of mutiny, you're to blame.” Dan gave Phil one last desperate look before entering the frame. “Hi Phil's fans,” Dan gave a small wave and tried to make himself as small as possible.

He hoped that was okay. Maybe he could just sit there and let Phil do the talking. And hopefully his hands would stop shaking as this went on. 

“AmazingKathy, slayer216, Layla and a whole bunch of others say hi back” Phil informed.

“What? Where do you see that?” 

How does this even work? Dan didn't get this. One of the benefits of being on anonymous YouTuber was that he never had to deal directly with people.

Phil pointed at the screen which Dan had been not so subtly avoiding eye contact with. “Over here. People submit comments while I do this. Sometimes it's questions or just saying hey. Were you not paying attention when I explained this before?” 

“I was a bit distracted, but I thought you were just addressing comments from twitter or something.” Dan mumbled. 

When Phil was explaining things, he may or may not of been practicing what he was going to say for the livestream in his mind. That apparently didn't help whatsoever. He was completely lost especially considering he had never watched a livestream before. 

“Nope all on here. So,” Phil again turned his attention to the audience, “this is Dan. You may know him from three different videos now, is it?” 

"I think. There's the one at some YouTube event, my horrible one, and now the last video.” Dan liked having direct questions to focus on. It also helped that it felt more like he was just talking to Phil. Talking to Phil was easy. “Oh, and the yoga one. Does that count?”

“Oh god. That was awful. Okay, I really need to tell the world what's going on. So after a few run ins with Dan we ended up hanging out and last livestream he stopped by because he left his phone here,” Phil started. 

“Yeah. That is definitely something I did.” Dan said turning to slightly cover his face with his hand. Said hand was still shaking. Damn.

“But before that,” one would think the amount of sunshine in Phil's voice impossible. “He won a bet and made me do yoga in a cheese costume. You may of seen that.” 

Dan dropped his hand and looked to Phil, smiling at the memory. He loved that video. 

“It's the best video you've ever made and you know it.” 

"Actually shut up. You just like watching me fall.”

“I do.” 

“You rat. Anyway, so that's why everyone apparently thinks I'm dead. Any questions?” 

Dan gave him a side look. Of course there were going to be questions. Although he was feeling better about having to answer them. Then he looked at the screen. 

“Uh Phil? How are you able to read these?” The little chat thing was going by too fast. Not impossibly so but enough. 

“With skill Daniel. And you get used to it.” Phil started to read off some comments. “Hmm, awe, Gisele says you're adorable.” 

Dan started blushing again. “Why'd you have to start with one like that? Thank you Gisele.” 

“Another one asked if my room looks like it does on the computer.”

Dan had to think about this. He still hadn't seen much of Phil's current videos. There were the few that involved him indirectly and the cheese one but other than that he didn't have much of an impression before seeing the room in real life.

“I guess? I mean like of course the camera doesn't show the whole room. Besides we are usually in the living area watching anime.” 

Things went in like this for a while. People mainly focused on Phil and sometimes threw questions to Dan. Those questions usually were about Phil and they had to ignore a lot of the more eccentric questions. 

Then Dan saw a certain question and had to interrupt what Phil was saying.

“What's a glabella?” 

“A what?” Phil looked confused at the outburst.

“A glabella. It was in one of the comments going by.” 

“Well, what did the full comment say?”

Dan thought back. He got so distracted by the word that he forgot about what the full thing said. 

Wait. Oh no, Dan didn't want to repeat that question, especially if he didn't know what the word meant.

“Uh never mind.” 

Phil must've thought he was just being shy again because he didn't let it go. 

“No, what did it say?” 

Dan gave him a look that he hoped Phil would understand as a signal to drop it. “You sure?”

“Yeah tell me.”

“It said ‘may I stroke your glabella?” 

… … 

They stared at each other for a solid minute.

“Well okay then. Let's look it up,” Phil broke the silence. 

Dan shrugged. They've already started this path, may as well go all the way. 

He found it pretty quickly in his phone.

“Oh okay. It's the area between your eyebrows above the nose.” Dan started giggling. “So Phil, may they stroke your glabella?” 

“Uh no. They may not…” 

Dan could see that Phil didn't quite know what to make of this line of questioning. Naturally, he decided to push it. 

“Come on Phil. It's what the people want,” his voice holding a low amused sarcasm. 

“That is _not_ what the people want.” 

“Uh, yeah Phil. It is. Just look at the comments. They want the glabella strokes,” Dan teased.

He’ll admit, he can be a little shit sometimes.

“How about I stroke your glabella then? See how you like it,” Phil pouted, but was also reaching out towards Dan's forehead.

“No, no. No! Phil no!” Dan shrieked and squirmed away, but Phil was relentless. “No consent!” 

Despite his words, he was giggling far too much for anyone to take him seriously. And Phil had already reached his forehead. 

“You idiot. Was that necessary? Are you satisfied?” Dan complained as Phil finally backed off. 

“It was definitely necessary! You wanted my entire fan group to do that to me.” Phil looked at him testily. 

“You win. No more glabella business.” Dan paused and looked at the lens. “That means you guys too. Definitely a no-touchy area.” 

Dan hoped that the joke would be received well. He still didn't know what Phil's audience was like other than their mad shipping tendencies. 

Soon after, Phil wrapped up the video. Which, fine whatever, but _oh my god._ Dan survived the video. A moment passed after Phil shut the laptop and then Dan burst into life, standing on the couch. 

“See that! I did it! Take that world. I didn't even do anything wrong!” Dan paused his celebration. “Wait, I didn't do anything wrong did I?” 

“You did great!”

Dan pumped his fist in victory. He even had the Phil stamp of approval. 

“So,” Phil continued. “Are you okay doing this again sometime?” 

Dan hadn't thought about that. The video hadn’t been as hard as he’d thought it would be. He’d even had fun—it was easy to forget there were thousands of people watching you when he got to goof off with Phil. It still was uncomfortable, and he was rather terrified to see what the aftermath would be, but … 

But he was definitely okay to do that again with Phil. 

Phil just better be prepare himself because Dan? Dan was definitely going to take more opportunities to mess with Phil on livestreams.

It was going to be an adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, you've made it! so if any of you guys noticed, I did add a third thing to this entire ordeal. So what is it asked no one whatsoever. Well Ima tell you anyway. I impulsively made/posted a chapter about Dan before all of this stuff happened and it's a kind of triggery. It's more of his relations with his mom and into a sort of depression outlook. I could legit wright two separate stories with Dan and Phils background stories. If anyone wants more of that kind of content, let me know. I love a good side quest. If not, no worries. Feel free to leave me comments and kudos. They give me life. 
> 
> (Also if anyone is overly curios, I went from having no jobs to having two jobs and having college on top of everything. I am so drained... But I'm doing my best and it's not so bad ^_^)


	28. Chapter 28

**Dan's POV**

He was not upset exactly, but he definitely acquired an underlying anxiety while going out. It had been a little over a week since the video and Dan thought he was handling it okay. The few times it was too much, he had called Phil for a distraction. The YouTuber seemed to always calm him down and hadn't caught on to Dan's distress. 

Phil's fans were certainly something else. Or maybe they were a normal fandom and Dan just wasn't used to fans. It was probably the latter thing. They were mostly respectful, but the next time someone asked him how Phil was in bed, Dan was going to tell them that he was rubbish. 

Dan was a bit fed up with inappropriate questions. It was almost like the entire fanbase was stuck in some innocent Phil dry spell and attacked at the first chance they got. He practically ran away any time someone approached him now and he had gotten some odd looks on various occasions. 

In the end, he started round two of hermithood. Or at least he had tried. Apparently having one friend had changed the prospects of a hermit life as he now had a Phil situated on the other side of the couch from him. Dan should try to negotiate becoming cohermits. It'd be great. Every time a package arrived, Dan could send Phil to get it and Dan would never have to interact with anyone ever again. Phil would have to move in of course. That'd be something new. 

“What are you thinking about?” Phil interrupted Dans hermit fantasy. 

“About you moving in,” Dan responded without thinking. Phil sputtered and flushed. 

_What a dork_ , Dan thought fondly. 

“What?” Phil asked. Maybe Dan should've explained himself better. 

“Yeah, I was contemplating how I could avoid all human interaction if I had you here to answer the door for the postman,” Dan clarified. 

Phil rolled his eyes. “I won't become your man slave just to entertain your introvert dreams.”

“Damn.”

Dan already knew this. The reason Phil had come over in the first place was to try and comfort Dan about the amplified attention. Having that been said, it was clear that comforting was not the same as enabling Dan's unrealistic ideals. It did involve blankets and snacks though, so Dan wasn't one to complain much. 

“Why is it that your fans are so involved in your love life anyway? I’d get it if they had just shipped us but they've literally done this with every male figure you've mentioned,” Dan asked suddenly. Their involvement in Phil’s love life was part of the problem with going out right now. Plus it had been bugging him for a bit. It felt restricting that Phil couldn't do much as mention someone without it becoming a big deal. Although Dan could admit that Phil being shipped with others took some of the pressure off. It meant it that Dan didn’t do something wrong or too suggestive, but that it was just a thing that the fandom naturally decided to do.

“Jealous of the competing ships, Danny Boy? I promise that Phaniel will always be my otp,” Phil teased. 

“Really?” Dan was unimpressed. Phil just smirked. Dan continued speaking, “Because my otp is definitely Phan.”

Phil's eyes widened in horror. “Oh god, can we just ignore everything shippy with me?”

“Not a chance. Which ship does Phan refer to anyway? You and D.H. or the Mystery Man?” It didn't really matter because they were both Dan. 

“I don't know and I don't care. Plus I'm kind of scared that the one with D.H. might actually be Dil.” Phil looked genuinely worried at this prospect. 

“Wow. I'm actually glad we got Phaniel now. But that still doesn't answer why the intensity of shipping.” Dan wasn't letting this go yet. Especially when the only other conversation to be held involved making Dan leave the house. 

“Well you know that I'm out to my fans and such.”

“Uh, sure that sounds like a thing,” Dan said unsure. He had no clue about Phil's closet status, but him being out sounded feasible. 

Phil gave him a questioning eyebrow prompting Dan to say more. “Look, to be fair, I avoided Phil gossip for years. Forgive me if this only seems vaguely familiar,” he defended hurriedly. 

Phil laughed and Dan felt a rush of relief. He was glad that they could safely mention things like this now. That he didn't have to pretend that they didn't have a history. Now if he could figure out how to tell Phil about his YouTube channel, then everything would be golden. 

“Well I guess the fans really like to ship me with other guys because it's an actual possibility with me,” Phil explained. 

That didn't sit right with Dan. Sure, it helped the practicality of shipping, but not the intensity of it. 

“There's more to it, isn't there?”

Phil looked crestfallen at his question and Dan wanted to take it back. 

“Yes, there is.”

**Phil's POV**

To Dan's credit, he immediately assured Phil that they could drop this subject if he wanted to. Phil quickly reassured Dan that it was fine. It wasn't a really fun topic, but he didn't mind sharing it with Dan. It wasn't like the whole world didn't know anyway. 

Phil had come to keep Dan some company after he realized that the younger wasn't leaving his flat anytime soon. At least that's what he told Dan. The real reason was that he was worried about him. Dan had called him a few times after the livestream and Phil could hear that Dan was on the verge of panic attacks each time. Dan probably thought that he was able to hide it, but he wasn't. Phil never commented on the trembles in Dan’s voice and by the end of the conversations, there were no more trembles to comment on.

But now they were on a fairly different topic than Dan’s troubles. They were back to delving into Phil's past and he didn't know where to begin. 

“I think they're so invested because my public love life started off kind of scandalous.”

Dan looked at a loss. In another circumstance Phil would've laughed. 

“You? Scandalous?” Dan's voice portrayed his shock. 

Phil flushed at this. He'd never had to explain this before. He liked that Dan didn't already know all about his internet life but it also made explaining this more difficult. And more embarrassing. 

“Okay no, whatever you're thinking, just no. Scandalous was a bad choice of words. Perhaps dramatic?” Phil tried. 

Dan looked more confused. “I'm not following, mate.”

 

“Let me just, uh, start over. I wasn’t– I never– Ahh. I was outed! I didn’t get to have a coming out I was just _thrown_ out. And then I was kind of stuck in limelight,” Phil fumbled out frustrated. He took a breath before continuing, a bit calmer. “Afterwards, I refused to let any of my love life be public. I didn’t like being a spectacle once and I wasn’t going to let it happen again. But as a result, any sort of affection I show is a huge deal to them.” Phil waited for a reaction. Dan did not disappoint. 

“Who the hell was it? Whoever fucking! I swear what the ever-actual fuck Phil? No one ever has the right to out a person.” 

“Is it a bad time to tell you it was Charlie?” Phil asked. 

Dan sputtered, “Wha– wait. _Him?_ Is there anything else I should know about him before his judgment day in hell?”

Dan puffed his cheeks out angrily. Phil started giggling. He knew he shouldn't but ‘judgement day in hell’? Puffing his cheeks? It was too hard to take an angry Dan seriously. 

“Stop! Stop it! Do not laugh at my fury!” Dan said, still huffy. 

Phil laughed harder. Despite his efforts, Dan eventually succumbed to Phil's contagious giggles. 

Soon enough, they both sobered up and Dan continued. “Seriously though, Phil. He had no right. That's just wrong of a person to do that.”

It was. It was very wrong. Especially because he wasn't just outed, he was called a slut and a whore by a man he trusted. It was one of the worst times of Phil's life and all of it was done just so Charlie could get attention. That wasn't Dan's problem though and Phil wasn't going to put that on him. 

“Don't worry Dan, I know.” Phil wanted to change topics. He didn't want to dwell in the past when they had better things to focus on. “So when are we getting you out of the isolation stage?” Phil asked in reference to Dan’s self imposed exile. He knew that the only reason they had ended up so off topic was because Dan was avoiding the issue. 

“When the fan girls forget my face,” Dan deadpanned. 

“Is it really any worse than the first time?” Phil was surprised that Dan was reacting like this when he seemed to get along after the first go around. 

Dan contemplating this. “In all fairness, I was quite worse the first time.”

…

“What?”

“Yeah. I didn't have any full blown panic attacks this time and I didn't have to delete my social media this time. But then I suppose I can't re-delete my accounts. Also I've been better about the people who approach me,” Dan rambled on proudly, oblivious to Phil's increasing guilt. 

He had panic attacks because of him? And not just on the verge of one like this time, but full blown attacks. And what's this about his social media?

Dan finally sensed that something was wrong. “Hey, what's up?”

“I'm sorry. I had no idea any of that happened,” he apologized. 

Dan was quick to reassure him. “Don't even worry about it. If you'd remember correctly, I got myself into that one. I decided to post that video just like how I decided to be in this livestream. It all ended up okay. I'm just not out of the isolation phase yet.”

“What got you out of it the first time?” Phil didn't know much about what had happened back then. 

“I ran out of food.”

They stared at each other a moment. 

It may be harder to get Dan out of the isolation stage this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time I take that long to update, go on my tumblr and harass me. Here it is: https://lawgrain.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> Yep, link and all, you're allowed to harass me if I take that long to ever update again. That's the only reason I'm giving express permission to harass me for but other reasons are negotiable. Like if you know random animal fact, go for it. I also put a mini explanation/sorry on there about the passage of time. Not a very good explanation but it exists.
> 
> Lastly, a note about the chapter, please let me know if I forgot to italicize anything or if there any weird mistakes. Along with that I posted a short a bit back on Phil's backstory with Charlie. I tend to separate any extra angsty things from this fic even though it's technically part of the story. Anyway, it's got a horrible summary but it's hopefully not a horrible story to you. It's just an angsty companion if you wanna read it (It is linked in the series)


	29. Chapter 29

**Dan’s POV**

**_Knock, knock, knock._ **

**_Knock, knock._ **

**_BANG, BANG, BANG!_ **

_Fine, Phil._

“No food, no entry!”

“Daaaan.”

“You heard me! You’re not allowed back here till you start bringing me food again.”

Maybe Dan could psych him out and get food delivery out of Phil again.

“Then I’ll let you starve.”

_Damn._

“Fine. I’ll order food then.”

There. Dan would now have a very unhealthy lifestyle with food until he gives up and finally go to the store again. That’d show Phil.

“I’ll wait by the door and steal the deliveries.”

_He wouldn't._

“You wouldn’t…”

“I’m a Youtuber, do you really think I don’t have the time to?”

_He might._

“Plus, it might even make a fun video for the channel.”

_Okay, so he definitely would. Good to know._

Dan decided to just let Phil in. He might not bring food, but he generally brings joy. Plus Dan was kind of just milking it at this point. He felt like he could leave home if needed, but he was kind of lazy and Phil was an enabler. Really it was all Phil’s fault that he’s lasted this long without leaving the flat.

Phil and looked at the mess Dan had made of his flat. 

“What?” Dan asked, “I let you in. No one said that the place would look nice when you got in.”

Dan swung himself to plop on the sofa.

“Oh no, you’re not doing that,” Phil said. “Get up.”

Dan pouted. “What? Why?”

“We are going to my place.”

Okay, _that_ sounded suggestive.

“Umm… okay?” Dan didn’t really know how to respond to… _that._

Apparently Phil didn’t feel the need to explain even after they arrived at his flat, leaving Dan still confused. 

“Phil?” Dan asked while setting down his stuff on the counter. 

“Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

Dan had expected that Phil hadn’t meant anything suggestive, (despite some of his more flirty videos that he used to make, Dan was convinced this wouldn’t apply to him, right?) but he expected Phil to put on Netflix or something. Not buzz around the kitchen pulling out random things from the cabinet.

“What _I_ am doing is getting out ingredients. What _we_ are doing, is we’re going to cook them.”

“You’re joking.” 

“You said you wanted food,” Phil said smugly, throwing Dan’s earlier words back at him.

“Right, okay, but you do understand that this is a really bad idea right?” 

“No,” Phil said cautiously, “Why would it be a bad idea?”

Dan decided it best to just say it bluntly. “I burned pasta.”

Phil could not make him cook. It was imperative to their continuing friendship that Phil doesn’t make him cook.

Phil paused before continuing, “I’ll do the stove part then.”

And that was how Dan found himself warily chopping vegetables while subtly trying to annoy Phil. 

“Chop, chop, chop. Chopity, chop chop. Chooooooop.” 

Stop it Dan!” Phil called out.

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t being that subtle about annoying Phil.

“Don’t be jealous of my chopping skills!” Dan teased.

“Don’t worry, your pasta making skills tempers down any burning jealousy I have of your chopping skills.”

Low blow, but fair.

“Har, har. I’m sure you’ve done something equally as stupid.”

“Yes but you don’t know about it,” Phil sounded as if he thought he’d won. Dan would have to change that.

“You sure you want to start this, cheese boy?” 

Phil paled, obviously having forgotten that his embarrassing moments were all on YouTube.

“Fine, you win for now. Just so you know, just because everything stupid I’ve done is on the internet, that doesn’t mean you don’t have any either.” Phil said lightly in defeat.

Dan gave the chopped veggies for Phil to put into the rice he was currently frying and then stood back to watch Phil finish up the cooking. The man may have a ridiculous cheese costume, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t nice to watch him cook.

“You can go sit down. I’ll bring this out in a second.”

Aww, he wanted to stay. Nevertheless, Dan listened and waited for Phil to come join him.

When Phil finally came in and sat down, Dan found that they were in an awkward silence. This never happened. Did Dan do something? Weren’t they just having a good time? Dan could literally sense Phil’s thoughts and wanted it to stop. Dan made it about halfway through the meal before finally saying something.

_Here we go._

“Phil, why can I feel your thoughts from over here?”

**Phil's POV**

Phaniel…

How was Phil going to talk Dan about Phaniel? _Hey, Dan you know how I asked you to do a livestream with me and now you’re hiding from society? Is it still because of fan anxiety or is it the gay thing?_ Actually, that might be the most reasonable way to bring it up. Just throw it out there and hope for the best. Or maybe he could just avoid the topic altogether, but then he'd have Dan would continue to avoid society and that was not an option. 

The thing is, was it really the whole gay thing? Phil couldn’t figure it out anymore. He had spent the evening trying to avoid the subject and it had worked. That was until he had a moment away from Dan and couldn’t remember how to start up a normal conversation when he sat down again.

He never really asked Dan if he was okay with people thinking he was gay or even if he was gay. In hindsight, he really should’ve checked on this _before_ developing a huge infatuation with the man. That being said, he never considered that Dan could be homophobic in any way. He couldn’t be, could he? He seemed fine with Phil being gay, but maybe it was different if people thought Dan was gay? Phil didn’t think so, but what other reason would Dan still be hiding away? They’d been having a good time cooking today, so Phil was mostly sure it wasn’t anything against him.

But what could it be.

It only made sense that Dan called to him in the middle of Phil's internal debate. 

“Phil,” Dan started cautiously, “Why can I feel your thoughts from over here?”

Phil panicked. “How gay you feel?”

Oh God. That… wasn’t what he meant to say.

“What?”

How hard was it to say a stupid sentence. Or at least something other than ‘how gay you feel’.

“Uh, what I actually meant to say was ‘how do you feel about the whole gay thing.’”

“Phil?”

This would be a great time for the earth to swallow him whole. No scratch that, a fantastic time for the world to swallow him whole.

“Yes Dan?”

“That is most definitely not what you said.” Dan lifted an amused eyebrow.

“Yes, I realize that.”

“Anyways, what do you mean? What gay thing?”

“Uh, I mean… Well, it’s that my fanbase might think you’re gay.” Phil stumbled. 

This could be very dangerous territory. What if he was wrong about Dan and he really was homophobic. That would destroy Phil. Or what if Phil was completely off base and Dan got offended that he’d even ask him such a thing. Would he start to hate Phi–

“So what? I am gay.”

Well that answered that question. 

“Wha– and you never thought to mention this?” Phil exclaimed. 

“Hey Phil, I'm gay,” Dan deadpanned. 

“I hate you.”

“You love me,” Dan retaliated without hesitation. 

“Seriously, why didn't you mention this? We had a whole heart to heart the other day.”

Dan looked unimpressed. “Phil, you're telling me that you didn't suspect I was gay even after venting to you about how gorgeous Evan Peters is? Really? Not even a little?”

“Fair enough.”

“Jeez Phil. You really miss some obvious things sometimes.” Dan shook his head fondly. 

“Hey, people can have man crushes. I don't want to make any assumptions.”

“Well, now you know.”

Phil felt a lot better now that he knew his adorably dimpled best friend didn’t hate his guts for the whole ‘gay thing’.

“By the way, if it's not the fans thinking your gay, why have you stayed in your flat so long?”

“I’m lazy and don’t like people. Plus you enabled me.”

Phil felt affronted. “Wha- enabled you?”

“Yep.” Dan popped the ‘P’

“All I did was stop by and make sure you didn’t waste away.”

“Exactly.”

Now Phil just felt defeated.

“Oh and for the record Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“I feel 100% gay 100% of the time.”

Phil was _definitely_ defeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody thank @thebooktrooper (their tumblr) for helping me out with this chapter. She gave me some really helpful suggestions and without them this would be a completely different chapter (this version is better).
> 
> Also, can we appreciate that Phil posted something about a cooking fail today? I've put the cardboard in the oven when I was younger too, but luckily someone was there to catch me.


End file.
